After approximately 2 months, I have officially completed my 2nd successful sewing project! Pillows for my living room chairs:

First I sewed 2 blue napkins together. Then I did it again:

Then I stuffed them with pillows:

Then I decided they were boring, so I made little yellow flowers to put on them. At this point I was too lazy to sew anymore, so I used hot glue. Don't tell Martha.

I think they're super cute!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Goodness, gracious. My internet has stopped working chez moi and work has been so busy lately that I just haven't had the time to blog. I am so sorry and completely understand if you have given up on me. In which case you probably aren't reading this apology.

A couple of Fridays ago, CB asked if I felt like being social and getting "the group" together to do something. If you know CB, you understand that it is a big deal for him to actually want to interact with other people. He's usually willing to tolerate other people and attend social functions, but it's rare that he asks, so I jumped at the chance even though I was feeling a little tired. I called B- to make dinner plans and see if there was anything they wanted to do post-dinner. We hemmed and hawed and then, like an idiot, I said, "Why don't we go to the corn maze?!" It was like words were coming out of my mouth while my brain was shouting, "SHUT UP YOU MORON!"

I always think I'm going to have fun at the corn maze and then I always end up cold and tired, wondering why I agreed to walk around a corn field for 2 hours in the dark. Of course, B- said, "Sounds like fun!" So I threw my sneakers in the car and headed to dinner fretting about the impending 2 hours we'd spend playing "Children of the Corn."

My worries were quickly cast aside, however, when we got to dinner and I realized that nobody was dressed for Oconee County. Immediately, I began to think of how we'd get out of it and as we wrapped up our meal I said, "You know...maybe we should think of our options here...I mean we don't have to go to the corn maze. It's cold. And dark. And it takes so long...We could carve pumpkins instead..." Which suggestion was met with much enthusiasm from the girls and groaning from the guys until they realized that they could play video games while the ladies carved punkins and then all were excited about the plan. So that's what we did.

B- was really aggressive with her pumpkin carving. She was determined to get every last bit of goop out. And she did.

K- was very careful with hers.

C- actually dressed for "pumpkin surgery" which may have been overdoing it a little, especially considering it wasn't actually Halloween yet. 

Then they were done.

And we lit them up.

And they looked beautiful. Except for my poor spider whose leg broke in carving which resulted in improvisation and, subsequently, thunder thighs.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A couple months ago we shifted offices around at work. Again. This is my third move in as many years; however, I think this one's going to stick, so I've decided to settle in. It's actually my first office, which I hated then because it was basically the church storage closet, but we've since cleaned it out and it's kind of growing on me. Gradually, I've been adding little things here and there to spruce it up and make it a bit more personal. For instance, last week I took back my adhesive chalk board dots from various other offices and stuck them to my walls. I also hung picture frames with colorful paper in them to use as dry erase boards. I also purchased a little end table to put next to the couch, but now I need some chachkies.

I saw this tutorial from a design website Sloan introduced me to, and I decided that those would make a perfect bouquet to add a little office cheer. I found some colorful paper and spent the afternoon making these colorful little lovelies:

I'm pretty sure the guy I share an office with will love them as much as I do. Mm hmm. The only problem was that I  bought the wrong wire and it definitely doesn't hold the weight of the flowers, so I just glued them together and balanced them on top of the vase. Whatever works.

Pop quiz:

Q. Where is the worst place to go when you are in a DIY mood with a limited income?

A. Michael's

I could have spent my entire life not knowing about colored, glitter hot glue and been a happy person. Now I know about it and I don't have it and suddenly my life is empty. Same deal with Martha Stewart's scrapbooking collection. And paint on gold leaf. And metallic spray paint. I did manage to escape without buying anything I didn't need for this particular project, but I am definitely planning the next one. It will more than likely involve some sort of shiny paint.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

I forgot to put my face on yesterday morning. More precisely, I was going to wait until the afternoon, but I forgot then, so I spent the day sans makeup without realizing it. I couldn't figure out why 3 different people asked if I was tired until I got home, looked in the mirror and said, "I do look tired today. What in the...oh...that's just how my face looks when I don't cover it up." It was a real feel-good moment. Maybe I should get more sleep and eat less refined sugar. Or maybe I should just remember to apply concealer every day.

Yesterday's incident was one of those that made me stop and wonder if I'm really cut out for Lady of Leisure-hood. I don't think proper LoLs go out in public without mascara, do they? So, in an effort to feel more Leisahly today, I baked.

Now, most people love fall because of the cooler weather and the excitement of snuggling up in a sweater with a steaming mug of cider and some pumpkin flavored dessert. Not me, y'all. I hate when the weather starts getting cool because I would much rather be by the pool in a swimsuit with an ice cold...beverage. That said, the one exciting thing about the otherwise gloomy prospect of winter is that it's finally cool enough in my apartment to turn the oven on again. I would gladly give up baking for the promise of eternal summer, but that's not an option, so I'm looking on the bright side.

In other news, I hope you enjoyed that photo and food news because it's all you're getting until I can think of another Fatty Friday theme. We're running out of Classic City burger joints and, to tell the truth, I'm kind of relieved. I think I need a burger break. There may be a couple more from time to time, but for now, I think we're on hiatus. Sorry.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

I know it's been a while, but this is my 100th post! I really wanted to take some time to think of something to make it really special...like when you open it, candy would shoot out at you. Or fireworks. Or something. In the end, I decided that it was more important that I just go ahead and post. Sorry that you won't be getting a free puppy with this reading.

To add to your disappointment, I did not take any pictures at Ole Miss last weekend. It was really fun, though. The Grove is a pretty spectacular sight and those Rebs sure do know how to tailgate. As they say, "We may not win every game, but we never lose a party." Truth. And everyone was so nice. In the hotel elevator that morning, an Ole Miss fan told our Red and Black troupe to look for his tailgate and come join 'em for a drink. Georgia fans don't do that.

The rest of the trip was pretty fun, too. I practiced the art of leisure on Friday while taking a nap as the boys gambled in Tunica. Then I got up and went to the pool where I napped some more. Between naps, we ate. It was one of those trips where I felt like I needed to get home and not eat anything for a few days. The first casino buffet we went to was nothing to write home about, although I did get some country fried steak and gravy and macaroni and cheese. That night, though, that was the real buffet, y'all...

The boys and I went over to Harrah's (this is sounding like a classy trip, right?) and went to Paula Deen's Buffet for dinner. Y'all. It was even better than I imagined. There was food everywhere. Everywhere. And the whole place was decorated like a cute Southahn house. It was fabulous and disgusting and wonderful all at the same time. At these buffets, however, we did notice that they are really big (pun intended) on the sugar free desserts. I'm wondering if there's a super high incidence of diabetes in the Mississippi gambling crowd. Probs.

Saturday night was another fab meal. After stuffing myself full of Sloan's Mom's lemon cake and 7 layer dip, we hit up Memphis for ribs at rendezvous. I felt like a Southahn failure because all I could manage was half my pork sandwich and 1 of CB's ribs. After 2 buffets and a tailgate, my tummy said uncle, so the boys dropped me back at the hotel to sleep it off while they went back to Tunica to lose a little more cash.

All in all, it was a pretty fun trip. I only had two things on my checklist: Sleep and see the Dawgs win, and both were accomplished.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

After last season, I vowed the I would never again travel to watch the Dawgs play at someone else's house. Starkville, Jacksonville, and Memphis broke shattered ruined my life okay just hurt me too much last year. At the end of the season, I felt like I had invested time, money, and some dang cute outfits for something that just wasn't paying out. I knelt in the Liberty Bowl, threw my hands in the air, and vowed, "Never again!"

*dramatization

However, I can only pretend to be a fair weather fan. Alas, I just care too much, so, like so many over my other football related resolutions, that didn't last long. This weekend, Football and I will be spending some quality time together in Missississippi. Last time we were together in Mississississippi, (Starkville. One of the worst -villes I've ever been to) I was...well...I just can't talk about it. The wounds are still too fresh.

This time, though, it's about more than football. This time, I get to go to The Grove, y'all! Ole Miss is supposed to boast one of the best tailgate campuses in the nation and I am so excited! Apparently they really know how to do football in Oxford. I'm not sure they know how to play football (they lost last week to Vandy 30-7), but they sure can do football. I'll try to remember to take pictures...before the game...while we're still happy and hopeful...wopwop.

All that said, there won't be a Fatty Friday post this week. Sorry. I'll try to make it up to you next Friday.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

I don't do very much grocery shopping. Since I live alone and eat out with CB most nights, it's really not necessary for me to keep food in the house. In fact, it usually just goes bad and I toss it 2 years later. Honestly, the only things I keep in the apartment (besides the occasional leftover carton) are coffee and half and half. Who could ask for anything more?

So, I didn't expect to buy anything at Trader Joe's when I stopped in there for lunch and shampoo yesterday. But then I thought, weeeellll...maybe I'll get some hummus...and crackers...and ravioli...and short, boring story long, I did actual grocery shopping and now I have real-life food in my house. My favorite purchase: dark chocolate caramel with sea salt. It's not voges, but it is delicious at half the price.

I really do love Trader Joe's. In fact, I love it so much I'm thinking about marrying it. If only that was legal. Maybe I can move to Vermont. We probably won't be able to give my mom grandkids, but I think she'd be okay with cheap wine and the occasional Viennese Lemon Cake. She just wants me to be happy.

The only downside to the trip is that now I can't stop thinking about Christmas. I want peppermint and crack jo jo's. I want them real bad. If anyone knows when I'll be able to get them, please tell me so that I know when this agony will end.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Fatty Friday -- Blind Pig Tavern

Okay, so the thing that jumps out at me about the Blind Pig's Menu is that almost everything seems to be deep fried. Appetizers, hot dogs, sandwiches, you name it! This, of course, made it very difficult to pick a hamburger as none of them were beer battered or fried. It's a shame, too, because I think a deep-fried burger would have ended the quest then and there.

What the burger selection lacks in deep-friedness, it makes up for in topping choices. It was tough to pick just one of the 16 signature burgers, but after much painful deliberation and agonizing debate, I settled on "The Memphis" - a cheeseburger topped with bacon and peanut butter.

See the peanut butter dripping out the bottom there? Delicious. I used to doubt the goodness of PB on a burger, but I'm a believer now. The burger was really pretty good, but they overcooked the patty. Sad, because it coulda' been a contenda. Overall I have to give this "Brando Burger" a 6 because, well, well done just kills it for me. If you're in Athens, though, and want to try a good PB burger, Clocked will do you one up right.

CB got a burger too, but don't ask me what was on it. I really should pay more attention; however, I was completely distracted by the topping on his fries.

You see that white stuff? I thought it was some weird looking cheese...but it wasn't...it was gravy. In addition to being pro-pb, I am also a believer in gravy on fries now. CB decided that every restaurant should offer gravy as a topping for everything. Like ketchup or mustard. In addition to being dashingly handsome and disarmingly witty, he's also a genius.

I would say the worst part of the meal was definitely the overcooked burgers. The best part was that we got to try new things, so definitely not a wasted night. Also, we bumped into Katherine and her husband Chad, for whom even getting 4 wisdom teeth removed hours prior is not a good enough excuse to miss trivia night. What a champ!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

P.S. The Little Lady and I went to Trader Joe's today and a woman was walking around offering samples of dried seaweed. I politely declined, but TLL totally tried it. How many 8 year olds do you know that would try seaweed. Coolest. Kid. Ever.

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman...

To be clear, I am NOT dressing up for football. We are in a fight. Not a bad fight because, hey, football seems to be trying, but a fight nonetheless. In fact, I am determined to laze about in sweats and not blow dry my hair or put on makeup until football gets its act together and stops giving the ball away to Steve Spurrier and his cocks.

Wait. What was I talking about? Oh, yes, not putting forth the effort to look my best for football. I do, however, still need to look decent for my friends who, let's face it, are the real reason I get out of bed on Saturday anyhow. So, last Saturday I got up, got dressed in a nice top, flats, and cute jeans (albeit I was sort of slumming in jeans instead of a dress) and walked down to the tailgate all the while listening to my cell "ping" with incoming "WHERE ARE YOU?!?" messages. The friends, who get to the tailgate at 7 am, don't understand why I don't roll in until about 11 am for a 4 pm game. I'm not really sure they understand the whole "Lady of Leisure" thing. Not only do I need my beauty rest, but it would be simply gauche to show up before I am sure everyone else has arrived.

I really do love Game Day in Athens. It is about a mile from my house to the tailgate and the entire stroll is filled with game day music, sound bytes from Larry Munson, kids tossing footballs, men tossing corn hole bags, ladies in dresses, and just a generally idyllic scene of Southern Merriment (so long as you tune out the less idyllic language).

Even if football lets me down (I know, I know, they did really well last week and they're trying. I'll stand by them just like Tammy tells me to), Game Day in general will always be wonderful.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Fatty Fri...uh...whatever the heck day it is -- Loco's

I know, I know. Sorry, y'all. I just got so busy Friday what with...and...um...then there was the...okay, okay, I was watching Mad Men on Netflix and I didn't feel like writing. At any rate, I'm doing it now, so quit fussin'.

Thursday night was burger night again, so we went to Loco's. This was a bit of a controversial decision for me as Loco's is a chain; however, it originated in Athens, so we're counting it. I ordered the Redneck Burger medium rare, no onions (it had cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and ketchup...so, your basic cheeseburger).

I don't have a terrible lot to say about it. It was like the Jane Fairfax of burgers. Nothing wrong with it, really, but altogether unremarkable. It was very juicy and kind of a mess to eat, but that was what stood out the most. I'd give it a 6.5. Not the best burger I've had, but certainly not the worst.

CB ordered the salmon and steamed vegetables. I think a burger a week is starting to take its toll.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

dysFUNction

I'd like to say that Football came back to me on his knees, with flowers, begging me to take it back this season, but it went more like this:

Football: Hey Baby. (wink) You know you can't live without me.
Me: (perhaps a bit too gleefully) Yes! Yes! I do!!! Wait...I mean...I'll think about it.

There are no promises that I'll get treated right this time around. No assurance that I won't be dressing up for empty promises and throwing money at disappointment. But I do love football. And in the end, Football is right. I will take it back every time...as long as Nick Saban is never. Ever. our coach.

There was one teeny weeny little trade off this time around. I will actually be skipping this weekend's opening game to go see family. Sure I decided to go on the trip because I didn't think I'd have a ticket. Maybe I considered canceling my trip once I was offered one. But I'd like for y'all to ignore that little tidbit and consider that I am growing as a person...a person who won't have a t.v. this weekend. And I'll be fine. Really.

For a moment, during last weekend's hurricane hubub, I thought, "Did God send this as a message to tell me to get my butt to the game next week?" I felt a little like Jonah. Maybe I had been reading a little too much Michelle Bachmann's blog. But whatever it was, I was a little worried. God is a Bulldog, you know, but I don't think hurricanes as punishment is really His style. Not since Noah's day, anyhow.

At any rate, whether the weather was my fault or not, next weekend I will be at the game, fully dressed in my Game Day best, butterflies (and tailgate food) in my stomach, standing outside the gates of Sanford Stadium like a schoolgirl awaiting her first date...again. Ah, fall!

Fondest regards,
The Lady

P.S. I picked up some bacon Palmetto Cheese for the first home tailgate. I tested it, of course, and it. was. good. obvi. Totally worth a trip to South Carolina.

Fatty Friday Lite

Wednesday night I went with the Bible Study kids to a place called Al's #1 Italian Beef. I suppose you can infer from the name that it's not exactly a salad joint. Their signature sandwich is similar to a philly cheesesteak except that they dip the entire thing in au jus before wrapping it up and handing it to you. Eating it felt more like completing some sort of man v. food challenge than just eating dinner. At the end I had a sense of accomplishment and a strong desire to sleep for 3 days. That said, when Thursday evening rolled around, the thought of a hamburger wasn't altogether appealing. Apparently I have a beef threshold. Who knew?

I am, however, a dedicated blogger who has promised her fans a burger review every Friday. This week seemed like a good one, then, to head over to Graze. They have a kind of "build-a-burger" menu featuring a variety of different meats and toppings. We've been a few times and I almost always get the lamb burger with tzatziki (close enough), cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, and tomato and one other burger that I haven't tried before (btw, the patties are only 3 oz., so they're more like sliders). The lamb burger is far and away my favorite which is why I always get.

Last night we chose (from left to right) the grass fed beef with cheddar, lettuce, and tomato; black bean with avocado, sprouts and tomato (mine); fried mozzarella with marinara and pepperoni; and bison with lettuce, tomato, and sauteed onions minus the tomato which was removed and eaten separately at the end (that's right, Sarah)...those were CB's.

I really enjoyed the black bean burger, but did not care for the actual burger which was dry. The problem with itty-bitty patties is that they get overcooked. Also, CB pointed out that the bun to meet ratio was too high. Plus, I forgot to add mayonnaise which was my own dang fault. To be fair, I'm leaving the black bean burger out because it's just pretending to be a burger. Judging the beef one alone, I'm giving it a 3. Definitely my least favorite so far. I would, however, recommend Graze for a number of their other menu options including the lamb burger, the black bean burger, or their salads...also, CB says the fried mozzarella "pizza burger" is delightful.

We're running out of ideas for places to try, so if any current or former Athenians have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A Ladies' Luncheon

There are two kinds of people, y'all, people who eat lunch and people who do lunch. I prefer the later. And nobody makes doing lunch more delightful than The Swan Coach House. So naturally, when The Girl with Curls and I did lunch the other day, that is where we went. In all of its florally upholstered glory.


I don't think I can adequately describe this place except to say that it. is. southahn. And pink. And fancy. Adn it almost made me feel prepared for my first Junior League meeting. I had the tea sandwiches (chicken salad and pimento cheese. Obvi) with the frozen fruit salad. Why doesn't anyone else make frozen fruit salad? Sarah ordered the quiche which did not come with frozen fruit salad, so I'm sure it was not as good. We both had cheese straws, of course.


Before we left, Sarah asked the valet to take our picture. I was asked to step down a step, but I refused. It's not my fault Sarah is part elf.

Enjoy it, because every picture of us for the rest of the year will be taken at tailgates and football games. It's so close I can taste it. In fact, in decidedly unladylike fashion, I pointed out a young man at lunch clad in orange and I leaned over to Sarah and said, "You know how I know it's almost football season? I have the inexplicable urge to hit that guy in the mouth just for wearing orange." Shame on me. I'm just going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just wasn't thinking. Maybe he's a yankee.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Fatty Friday -- Double Down edition

No, I didn't actually consume a double down. Not that I wouldn't. I mean, the idea of replacing bun with meat is kind of genius, but KFC has never really appealed to me. However, let's not kid ourselves into thinking that I am above that kind of gluttony.

Case in point, I downed two burgers yesterday. Forgetting that it was Thursday and Thursday is burger night, I had a burger at lunch. I would have skipped the dinner burger, but I know how you all look forward to Fatty Friday, so I manned up and went in for seconds. I'm just that committed to y'all. And now you get to read about both. You're welcome.

For lunch, the co-w@$kers and I went to Farm Cart. It's a mobile grill that sits outside Farm 255 at lunchtime when the weather cooperates. I love it because they serve simple, locally frown fare just like Farm 255, but at a much lower price. For example, the Farm burger is $14, but the Cart burger is only $6.50. Other than being slightly smaller, I can't tell the difference. Yesterday's burger came with the option of sauteed onions and gruyere or pimento cheese, Duh. No contest. And it was delish. A little juicy and difficult to eat whilst sitting on my bosses couch trying to have a staff meeting, but what can you do? As an added bonus, the pimento cheese dripped out onto my homemade potato chips! I'd give it an 8. Easy.

We are trying to figure out the criteria needed for a restaurant to be Burger-Quest worthy, but last night we limited the options to places where we could watch The Braves. They are really good. In the end, we chose Brett's which is a local West-Siiide joint that is mostly student free because it's in one of the less frequented shopping centers. We like it because the food is good and they have a TON of options to choose from, including 8 burger options. CB settled on the Brett's Burger with bacon and jarlsburg on't while I chose the Corpus Christie with barbeque sauce and pineapple chunks. We both got the sweet potater-tots. Obvi.

The burgers were really, really good. Cooked just right and the bun was delicious. My only complaint was that a slice of pineapple would be easier to eat than pineapple chunks. CB said this was his favorite burger so far, giving it a 7.75 (7.5 for the actual burger + .25 bonus for having sweet potater-tots). He probably would have given it higher marks had it not been for the poppy seeds on the bun. I'd agree with his score, solid burger, but not my favorite.

While Brett's may not have won last night, the Braves did. Way to go, Chip! Sorry I called you old.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Fatty Friday (on Saturday) -- Allen's

No Athens burger quest is complete without a trip to Allen's, a Classic City classic which boldly claims to have the best burger in town. Allen's has been around forever and was, apparently, a big tradition "back in the day." The original location closed down a few years ago and people freaked out. You would have thought it was the end of food as we know it the way people flocked to get one last burger. Hello! If it's so good, why weren't you eating there all along? Some people were so upset that they reopened Allen's in a different location and that is where we dined the other night.

There were two burgers to choose from, the 4 oz. Allen's burger and the 8 oz. Billy's burger. Not knowing which one was supposed to be the best in Athens, we each got an Allen's burger and split a Billy's burger.

As we started eating, I was reminded of an episode of Parks and Rec where Ron and Chris have a burger cookoff. Chris makes super healthy, super fancy turkey burgers with fresh ingredients and the judges love them. Then, Ron slaps down plain 50/50 burgers on buns and wins the contest. I tried to find a clip for y'all, but I couldn't. Sorry.

Anyway, Allen's went with the less is more approach and it works. The only complaint I had was that the smaller burger was dry. Otherwise, CB and I agreed that the food was pretty delicious. In fact, CB said it was his favorite burger so far. I am still partial to The Royal Peasant, but was pleasantly surprised at how good Allen's was. I'd give it a 7. What, exactly, does that mean. I don't know.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A Fancy Birthday

The Little Lady's birthday is coming up and she has settled on an American Girl themed fete to celebrate. Combine this with the fact that it's the last week of summer and we need activities to fill the hours and you get a surprise pre-birthday trip to Alpharetta for lunch at the American Girl store. Very fancy.

Rebecca, The Little Lady, and I enjoyed a fabulous meal complete with very pink decor, very pink flowers, and the very pinkest lemonade I have ever seen. I can't help quoting Max Detweiler when I see pink lemonade.

Anyhoo, we had a blast and the staff even popped a candle in some whipped cream and sang "Happy Birthday" to The Little Lady as they brought out her fancy brownie lollipop dessert. She pretended to be embarrassed, but who does she think she's kidding?

It was about the 5th time we heard them sing "Happy Birthday" over the course of lunch, but it was no less special. Best of all, The Little Lady (and Rebecca) had a blast!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Fatty Friday -- The Royal Peasant

Yesterday was just one of those days, y'all, and NOT in a good, leisahly way. The Little Lady had an afternoon engagement, so I thought, "Hey, this is a good opportunity for me to catch up at my other job." So, I got up, had my morning coffee, and headed to the office...around 10ish (hey, that's the beauty of a part-time job). I was so productive yesterday it was scary. E-mails, planning, cleaning, meeting, moving furniture...I made it happen. Then I left work at what I thought was 4ish, but first I went upstairs to say bye to a friend. She wasn't in her office. In fact, nobody was in his or her office. It was almost 6.

Then I realized how hungry I was. That coffee for breakfast? That was my only meal of the day. No wonder I got a little grumpy and snappy toward the end, there.

That said, proximity was the primary factor in deciding where to go next on our burger quest. The Royal Peasant is an English pub style place 2 blocks away from my...we'll say "flat" since we're being all British and stuff...and it also happens to have really great food. We don't eat there much in the summer because who thinks, "Man, bangers and mash would really hit the spot!" when the heat index is 113?

Anyway, the burger is really good there and it totally hit the spot. They keep it simple with cheddar cheese, applewood-smoked bacon!, bibb lettuce, and tomato. The ingredients are quality and they cooked it to a perfect medium-rare which, for the record, is how I'm ordering all these burgers. It was a little greasy juicy, but that's a plus in my book.

Here's the rub: I was so hungry that I downed the burger in about 13 seconds. I know, I know, that's pretty hot. CB is a lucky fella. I would give it a 9, but I'm pretty sure I'd'a given McDonald's a 9 last night. To be honest, I'm not even sure I tasted it. Also, I'm not sure what CB thought of it. I didn't ask. I didn't care. I just ate. And then I felt sick.

The Royal Peasant burger and I do not have a good history with The Colonel. The first time I had one was our 2nd date. He ordered the fish and chips which can be neatly consumed with a fork and knife. As I'm mid burger-scarf with cow juice dripping down my forearm, he's telling me how he and his friend don't eat beef unless it's grass-fed (the bet has since been cancelled, obvi):

CB: blah, blah, ethical treatment of animals, blah...

Me: (mid bite) Oh, great, and I wasn't already feeling bad enough for ordering decidedly unattractive, un-girly, un-date food.

CB: No, no, it's totally cute that you ordered a burger. I like it.

Me: (probably wiping ketchup off my face with the back of my hand) Aw, thanks.

It's really sweet what people will lie about when they start dating.

Not one of my finer moments and I'm still not sure why he called me after that date (if you've ever seen me eat a burger, you know).

Anyway, last night's burger was just as good as the first. The date was decidedly more relaxed and I used my napkin the whole time. Also, I still totally love The Royal Peasant. It's charming despite all the soccer football soccer ...whatever they play on TV. So far, I think this burger tops the list...and that's not just the hunger talking.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Fatty Friday -- Clocked

Hey y'all. Last night I had a dream that I won a food challenge against a 3lb hamburger. In the dream, I mistakenly ordered a $40 ginormo burger that was free if you finished the whole thing. Colonel Brandon was none too pleased with me for ordering a $40 hamburger, but I told him not to worry about it because I was going to own that burger. And own it, I did. I devoured that 3 ponder like it was no more than a Misteak and Shake double with cheese...which would be really delicious right now. For the record, Dream CB was going to pay for the burger if I didn't finish it. Real life CB would do the same because he's sweet like that. Real life me will do my best to never accidentally order a $40 hamburger.

Real life last night was burger night and this week we chose Clocked. The thing about this burger quest is that it's really more of any excuse to eat hamburgers and have something to write about than it is an actual quest. Clocked is across the street from where I work, so I eat there a lot and thought I knew what to expect. They have all kinds of awesome burgers with tons of creative toppings. My favorites are the Meteor Burger (with feta) and the Peanut-butter Bacon burger (if you haven't had peanut butter on a hamburger, I highly recommend it). They used to have one with pineapple. I miss that one.

Anyway, last night, after much debate (there was a pimento cheeseburger and I also really wanted the peanut butter burger), I opted to try something new and ordered the chili-cheese burger.

It came open-faced with a fork and knife for a reason. I really liked the concept, but wasn't so much enamored with the burger. The chili was just okay and I don't think hamburgers are supposed to be eaten with a knife and fork. On the other hand, Clocked does make a mean burger and the patty was still excellent and cooked very well. I give it a 6, but I think I'd give other burgers I've had there 8s.

CB ordered the bronco burger with gouda, bacon, onion rings, and BBQ sauce.

He did not like the BBQ sauce/bacon/gouda combo. Also, he HATES pickles and red onions and didn't realize that they come on every burger, so that was an immediate turn-off. I think he's a little crazy because Clocked has some of the best pickles anywhere. Also, I've had the Bronco burger and, while it's not my favorite, I enjoyed it. I'd give it a 7. CB would probably give it a 3.

We're still questing for that "Perfect 10," but that's good because a 2 week quest would be kinda lame. Clocked is still one of my favorite Classic City restaurants. How could you not love a place that gives you Double-Bubble when they bring the check? However, the search continues!

Fondest regards,
The Lady

P.S. -- If you want to read more about The Sound of Music Sing-A-Long, Sarah posted the adventure along with some pretty great photos!

A sash and a sing-a-long

This weekend marked two big milestones for yours truly.

1. I completed my first successful sewing project...a blue satin sash. Why on earth would she need a blue satin sash? To go with my white dress, of course! Wait, wait, NO! I am NOT getting married. Can you think of any other reason I would need and white dress with a blue satin sash?...

For...

THE SOUND OF MUSIC SING-A-LONG!!!!!!!!!

That's right. Milestone number 2 was my very first Sound of Music interactive sing-a-long at the Fox Theater. Yes. I dressed up. It was so much fun! We cheered for Maria, hissed at the nazi's, yelled, "WEEEEEE!!!!" with Liesl, and popped poppers when Maria and The Captain finally kiss. There was also a costume contest (which I did not enter, but may next year) that included lonely goat herds, Marias, Baronesses, nuns, Alps, assorted favorite things, and one guy who was "high on a hill." Most fun of all was that we all sang every word to every song. I mean, I sing every word to every song every time I watch the movie, but this time all the people around me were actually okay with it because they were singing, too!

The only downside to The Sound of Music sing-a-long (besides a slightly sore throat) is that after you've been to one, every day after that is just not as wonderful unless you have plans to go to another. Seriously, I woke up this morning a little sad because I won't be attending a sing-a-long today. It's just another manic Monday. Sad.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

P.S. I may post pictures later, but Sarah took them all and then left town. I'm at her mercy.

A Fancy Dinner

I made a deal with The Little Lady the other day (what? I'm not above bribery) that, if she behaved, we could have a Fancy Dinner together. I even promised to dress fancy (which she stipulated meant NO shorts or t-shirts). She held up her end of the deal, so I made it happen. The next day I picked her up from camp in a grey jersey-cotton dress and beaded headband and her whole face lit up as she got in the car. "You did dress fancy." Boom town. This kid is easy to please. Thus began the discussion about where we would go for dinner:

TLL: I don't know any fancy places to eat in Athens.
Me: We can go anywhere. Where is your favorite place to eat?
TLL: DePalma's...but it's not very fancy.
Me: Well, kiddo, at around $12 a plate, it's as fancy as we're going to get tonight. This is Athens not Buckhead.

Okay, I didn't say it quite like that, but man, "Not very fancy?"  I think I may have created a monster. Maybe her high standards will work for good as a dating deterrent. Anyway, we got home and she immediately went to her room to get ready only to be disappointed when I told her that she had at least 3 hours until dinner which would be plenty of time to read, practice piano, and wash the camp smell off.

So we got everything done and got ready to go out. Two fancy ladies headed out to a fancy dinner. I forgot to mention the other part of this deal: Fancy dinner = Fancy manners. That lasted until the bread and olive oil came out:

Me: (watching her push oil around the plate with her finger) What was our deal about Fancy manners?
TLL: Well...I was drawing a crown.
Me: uncontrollable laughter

It's really hard to discipline when you're laughing uncontrollably. The Little Lady knows this and uses it to her advantage more than I would like. Then she ordered pizza and informed me that Fancy manners did not apply to pizza as it is perfectly acceptable to eat pizza with one's hands. What could I do? It's true.

Fanciest regards,
The Lady

Fatty Friday

I can't remember if I told you this or not, but Colonel Brandon came up with a brilliant blog idea. He suggested that we go on an epic quest to seek out the best burger in The Classic City. I was going to call it Foodie Friday, but CB suggested Fatty Friday. I liked that better. Each week we will get a burger and then I will post on the merits or demerits (is that the right word? Probably not) of said burger. He has a lot of rules about what kind of burgers we should get, how to score them, etc. I have no rules and am content just to stuff my face and call it delicious. Feel free to throw in your 2 cents if I'm not discerning enough for your liking.  Here goes.

Last night we set the bar low with a trip to The Grill. I knew it was not ever going to be a contender, but eating the best burger the first week would mean weeks and weeks of sub-par burgers. Besides, it's been about 2 years since my last trip so I figured it was worth a shot. The Grill did not disappoint...I mean, it did disappoint...which is what I expected, so it really didn't disappoint...wait...where was I? Oh yeah. I went with the bacon swiss burger which came overcooked with dry, puny bacon and 1 teeny weeny square of white cheese that I'm sure was pre-sliced and had to be unwrapped. When we'd finished, CB said it tasted like Wendy's and he was exactly right. Wendy's, however, would've cost much less.

On the up-side, what may have been too much mayonnaise for some people was just the right amount for my taste. I am a BIG fan of too much mayonnaise on a burger.  Also, the fries and feta dressing (which are really the only reason sober people ever go to The Grill) were delicious as always.

CB suggested we do pictures of the burgers...but he didn't suggest it until we were basically done. Next time you'll get a whole burger.

Overall, I give it a 4...which is pretty arbitrary considering there is no formal ranking/scoring system. We're working out the kinks.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Well friends, I just got back from a wonderful (albeit decidedly UNleisahly) mission trip in Kentucky. 8 kids + 6 other adults + 5 days of sleeping on the top bunk makes for one exhausted Lady. It was worth it, though. My work crew spent the week building an extra room onto the trailer of a 70 something woman. Her 13 year old great-grandson was displaced by some recent flooding and is staying with her until his parents can get their home cleaned up. The best part of the trip was that he became part of our team and reminded us all of just exactly why we do missions.

The second or third morning we were working, the boy came out to lend us a hand. His shoes were untied ( a big safety no-no) and we kept hounding him to tie them up. Finally he went inside and when he returned and while later had on velcro shoes. One of the girls noticed and asked him about it. Embarrassed, the boy admitted that he didn't know how to tie his shoes. Nobody had ever had the patience to teach him when he was young. That girl undid her laces, stuck out her shoes, and said, "Well, we've got all day now." The boy learned how to tie his shoelaces. The girl learned just how much most of us take for granted and what it means to share our blessings with others.

There were lots of great things that happened last week and the love of Christ was shown through all the kids at both our worksites. Their hard work and awesome attitudes were amazing to watch and I could not be more proud.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

I know. I know. I know. This week has been reDONCulous. We got back from a wonderfully relaxing trip to the beach and I hit the ground running. Y'all, I love my job. I mean it. However, I tell my boss every year that if I'm going to lose my job anytime soon to make sure (s)he calls and tells me while I'm at the beach. And then I secretly wait for that phone call because then I have no reason to go home. Seriously. I would stay forever until it got really cold if I could. Much as I'm sure you would love for me to share all of the exciting details of our trip, my bosom friend Sarah already did it on her blog. And she used pictures.

Since we've been back it's mostly been mission trip planning, babysitting, and trying not to trip on the 300 children running around the church for VBS. Anyone know a good way to get VBS songs unstuck from your head? Also, I've been reading The Hunger Games series which has kept me fairly occyoopado this week. I really cannot put it down and have found myself putting off other really important things just so I can keep reading. Honestly, my toes need to be painted at least have the old, chipped paint removed, my eyebrows need to be tweezed separated, and I am at least 3 weeks behind on People, but I just can't stop reading.

Tomorrow I'm headed to good ole' Kentucky with some youth. Should be good. And hot. But probably not as hot as here. Can't wait. I should probably get back to reading packing now and double check to make sure I have socks and underwear. Somehow I always manage to pack 3 weeks worth of clothes and then forget something as basic as underwear. I can't imagine Emily would approve of me discussing my underwear. This blog has really gone downhill. I promise I'll try to do better once I get home.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Dear readahs,
If you need me I will be at the beach practicing the fine art of leisah. You won't get a post this week, but I believe you have come to expect that sort of thing.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

This weekend CB and I went kayaking. I like to think that I'm just the right amount of outdoorsy. I know that I don't seem like it what with my completely rational deathly fear of things that fly coupled with my idea that "roughing it" means the hotel only has 3 stars, but ignore that for a moment because none of it applies when there is water involved. I heart water and I think I could be perfectly happy spending every day kayaking on the river...as long as I got to shower and eat a good meal and sleep in a real bed at the end of the day. Also, I'm really good at kayaking...as long as there aren't too many shoals and trees and other things to avoid. Also, apparently CB and I look the part:

Kayak guy: Have you ever been on this river before?
CB: Yes
Me: Well, yeah, but not this stretch.
Kayak guy: Yeah? Where do you normally go?
yada, yada, yada...me telling him...
Kayak guy: Really? Do y'all normally take your own equipment?
Me: Well, yeah...

Which is totally sort of true. I didn't feel the need to tell him that "our own equipment" is normally wal-mart inner tubes and a floating cooler (for the, you know, cokes) or that "on the river" meant I'd done a couple of tubing trips. I didn't want to embarrass him because tubing is way more hard core than kayaking.

Aaaanyway, the whole point of this tale is that I found a kayaking place that completely caters to The Lady of Leisure. First, you check in in a lovely pavilion complete with tables, couches, chairs, and coordinating toss pillows. Not your average outpost. Then, they drive you to the drop-in point and not in one of those old school buses with the vinyl seats and no AC. No, Ma'am. You are squired to the river in no less than a stretch excursion complete with twinkly lights in the ceiling. Magical. It made me wish I'd remembered to put mascara on. CB apologized for not getting me a corsage. I said, "It's okay. I should've got you a boat-onniere." And then we both died laughing...well...I laughed and he smiled politely.

Okay, okay.

Then we got in the river which trip was supposed to take 3 hours, but we knocked it out in a little over 1.5 because, as I said, we are awesome kayakers. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't a longer trip, but CB (ever the optimist) pointed out that it could be worse, "Remember the last time someone went on a 3 hour tour?" Touche.

The best part (after the limo, obvi) is that you get out at the lovely pavilion where you parked your car instead of having to ride a smelly, hot bus back to the outpost. Plus, if you prepare better than we did, you can have food waiting for you when you arrive. All outdoor activities should be this posh. I think any semblance I had of being outdoorsy just flew right out the window with that last sentence.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

I didn't want to mention my application because I didn't want any of y'all to get too excited, but I received my official invitation to the 2011-2012 Provisional Class for Junior League Athens today! It came with a "check yes or no" card. I'm totally checking yes. And I have 2 months to buy a new dress.

8 days until I go to the beach!

Also, I didn't do much this weekend because I had to work; however, I did celebrate Memorial Day the American way with 7 solid hours by the pool. Combine that with "work" and we've got 10 pool hours logged already this week. Pretty good.

Fondest regards,

The JLA Lady!

The Little Lady has 2.5 days of school left! Why am I so excited about this? I will tell you:

1. Babysitting all day means I have a good excuse to wear shorts and t-shirts everywhere...including the office.

2. We get to spend our time together doing fun stuff instead of practicing piano and doing homework. Piano practice and homework are lame, but please don't tell her I said that.

3. She bought Anne of Green Gables (abridged version) to read this summer. I cannot wait to watch the movie with her which I imagine will be me watching the movie and her spinning in circles (literally).

4. Speaking of movies...I will have a date for all the kids movies I want to see.

5. She joined swim team. This means I get paid to spend an hour a day reading and tanning (the lifeguards are watching and I stick my head up every now and then) which is about as close to being a Lady of Leisure as anyone can ask for.

Summer is so great...Stay tuned for the beginning of August post in which we are both chomping at the bit for her to be back in school.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Y'all. The last couple of weeks have just been crazy, crazy, crazy! Sorry I've been so negligent, especially since I have such wonderful things to say! Lately I've just been so busy that all I want to do when I get home is grab a cold...Coke and watch Grey's on my Netflix. However, work has calmed down a bit I've taken the day off before I jump back into the fray tomorrow, so I can write for a few minutes.

My friends Bethany and Matt have been talking about hosting a Kentucky Derby party for a few years now. Matt loves any excuse to gamble and Bethany loves any excuse to buy a new dress, so why not? Well, a few weeks ago, Bethany told me that they were actually going to be able to do it this year at which point I hinted (not so subtly) that "Kentucky Derby" might be an excellent theme for a birthday party for yours truly who's birthday coincidentally fell the day before the Derby this year and all they would have to do is add cupcakes. She agreed and suddenly her dream party was all about me...obvi. Sooo, I bought a dress (on sale and which I also wore on Easter Sunday because I'm trying this whole "saving" thing), donned my DIY decorated hat, and headed to the East Side for the Derby.

OH! And (most of) The Fam came too! It also happened to be Mother's Day that weekend. I know, I know, you're asking, "Birthday, Derby, Mother's Day! How in the world can you back that much special into 2 days?!?" Well, we're a special family. Seeing as I was my mom's original and (in my opinion) very best Mother's Day present, it fit that we should celebrate them both together. Pretty great, huh?

So we did celebrate...and we gambled...and we lost (who in the world saw Animal Kingdom coming? Not Nehro.)...BUT we had tons of fun and I got to wear a fantastic hat and get lots of attention and presents and isn't that what really matters?

Speaking of presents...Colonel Brandon took me out to dinner at 5&10 for my actual birthday. It was fabulous as always. I love 5&10. When he arrived (in his danggood looking suit!) he brought with him a very large gift which turned out to be...a sewing machine! So sweet and thoughtful. However, I am apparently much better at hinting than I realized because Mom and Daddy showed up the next day with a very large gift which turned out to be...a sewing machine! So sweet and thoughtful. However, I am apparently much...oh, sorry.

Lewis suggested I open a sweatshop and put The Little Lady to work, but we returned one instead and I bought some new clothes. You know, to wear until I figure out how to make my own.

For Mother's Day, The Little Lady and her family took my family and me to lunch at The Country Club. I don't think I have to tell y'all how much I enjoyed eating at The Club. All in all, it was a really incredible weekend!

After that I had to buckle down and get to work so we could give the Senior Youth a decent send-off. School's almost out, graduation is upon us, and summer is only a few days away (so why did I have to wear a coat outside last night?). Only a few short weeks until...

Back to the grindstone tomorrow so that I can enjoy that amazing view without having to worry about work. Worrying about work at the beach is not allowed and is definitely not leisahly!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

"Training a child is exactly like training a puppy; a little heedless inattention and it is out of hand immediately." Etiquette. 1922.

Today is my birthday. It's been a long road and many years, but I have finally reached 25ish again. The many congratulations and well wishes have been well deserved warmly received. Birthdays are, after all, a big accomplishment. A lady always gives credit where credit is due, though, and I wouldn't be where I am today without the help of a wonderful team of people. Most of all my Mother, without whom none of this (note: I am gesturing to myself) would be possible.

So....In honor of Mother's Day ---

The Top 10 things I learned from my mother:

10. Eyebrow maintenance is important. Telling you to tweeze is telling you I care.

9. Cooking is an expression of love. Cook well.

8. There is no such thing as online privacy. If it's online, it's public. And if Mom can Google it, she will.

7. Lady is as Lady does.

6. Every choice bears a consequence. Those consequences are Mom's choice.

5. Marriage takes hard work and patience, but is totally worth it. That said, don't settle.

4. Adorable though I may be, sometimes I can drive people crazy.

3. It's a good idea to give crazy people some space.

2. You may not always like your family, but you sure as heck better love your family.

1. I can never, ever, ever do anything to make my mom stop loving me. Ever.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!!

Love,
The Lady

"Hats are a requirement and gloves are correct." ~Etiquette. 1955

In the spirit of this post's subject matter, I shall do my best to write in a British accent. Please humor me and at least try to read it that way.

Gentle readers, you may recall a few weeks ago when I received an invitation to Lady Beth's Royal Wedding Viewing Party. Well, as my friend Jason once said about his own wedding, it went of with a hitch! (We usually give him a little chuckle). Ever the gracious hostess, LB (that's Lady Beth, y'all know I heart abbrevs) opened the party with goody bags complete with glass slippers (blingin' flip-flops), "sappire" engagement rings, ring pops (in case the sapphire wasn't big enough), adorable ring candies, and -- for the single ladies in the group -- veils. The veil was easily my favorite goody in the bag; however, I spent much of the night wearing Beth's mum's fabulous cathedral length veil. Ooooh! Did I mention it was fabulous?

We awoke with way before the sun (3:00 a.m. to be exact) which is when the BBC started their commentary on this side of the pond. We watched the 3 hour pre-game show, followed by the wedding (I must confess that I nodded off a bit during the boring bits of the ceremony...after the vows and before they left...you know, when you couldn't see Kate and Wills), and rounded off the morning with 3 hours of post-game analysis including the balcony appearance and both smooches.

At some point in our seven hour wedding palooza television marathon, Lady Beth managed to fix a delightful brunch with finger sandwiches, tortellini salad, split pea soup, sausage (not blood sausage mind you), BACON!, and French toast. I don't know what the other Elizabeth (you know...The Queen) was serving at her lunch, but there's no way little possibility that it was better. Plus my Beth even made a wedding cake (red velvet not fruit). I bet The Queen wasn't baking a cake the night before.

She also decorated her apartment with lots of lovely personal touches to help make Catherine and Will's day really special.

And her mum somehow managed to snag some limited edition, only made in Britain, completely sold out and impossible to find, absolutely adorable toys.

Aren't they CUTE! Beth's mum has magical powers of negotiation or scary connections or something. Details are a little fuzzy at 3 in the morning.

As for my opinions of the wedding, A. Mazing. I loved it and now I want to get married in Westminster abbey wearing a McQueen gown and have lots of people in fabulous hats and a boys choir in silly collars and a carriage and a Rolls and a balcony appearance and an aston martin and and and... Plus Kate looked kind of like Maria in The Sound of Music which made me quite giddy.

All in all, it was simply loverly.

Cheers,

The Lady

Of course there will be cupcakes

The Colonel celebrated his birthday yesterday in true Brandonly fashion with little pomp or circumstance. In fact, I was prepared (and dressed) for more pomp, so I was actually slightly disappointed that he didn't want to do more. I had planned to take him to Porterhouse Grill for a nice steak dinner, but he'd rather go to Waffle House. After asking, "Really? Are you sure?" approximately 17 times it was finally made clear that he did, indeed, really want Waffle House. Who am I to tell an old man he can't have whatever dinner he wants on his birthday? So we went to WaHo. And I still got steak (of the cheese variety...I'm not sure exactly what cut it was).

Dinner didn't take quite as long as I had planned, so we had time to listen to a bit of the Georgia Baseball game (they beat The Nerds 6-4 in 12 innings!!!) before meeting our friends for aperitifs. It was pretty uneventful except for the part when Matt related a conversation between he and Jason in which it was decided that yours truly is the most redneck in our group of friends. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kind of proud. I feel like this is a pretty big accomplishment considering that I am one of only two (CB being the other) in that group who doesn't own a gun.

Overall it was a pretty relaxed birthday celebration which fits CB's style; however, his birthday wasn't completely devoid of celebration. You may recall last week that there was mention of whirlyball. This is essentially lacrosse with bumper cars.

The birthday boy. Every time we passed the ball to each other everyone else would stop and say, "aww," and CB and I would both turn red. Some people can be so immature. Then I would try to shoot and miss and they would all stop and say something else.

Of course, there were cupcakes. Chocolate with white chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting with white chocolate shavings. They're not the prettiest cupcakes I've ever made, but they were danggood.

My birthday is next week. I definitely made it a point last night to say, "I'm sorry you didn't want to go to Porterhouse. I like Porterhouse. And Last Resort. And Five and Ten." A girl's got to drop a few hints sometimes.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Lessons in Babysitting: The dangers of Southahn accents

Every now and then I like to ask The Kid what certain words mean. It helps increase her vocabulary and gets her thinking. I'm a pretty awesome babysitter. Sooo, the other day when she was talking about horses I stopped her to ask what a mare is:

The Kid: Well, it can be two different things.

Me: It can? What are they.

The Kid: It's a female horse and then, you know, like...

Me: That's right, but I don't think it has any other meanings.

The Kid: YES! IT DOES! It's like...like...like the president.

Me: Huh? Do you mean a mayor? In charge of a town?

The Kid: Yes. A mare.

Love that kid. One day I'm totally going to be one of those moms that only tells stories about the adorable things her children do not realizing that nobody else thinks they're funny. And then I won't have anymore friends. At any rate, I thought it was hilarious.

Also, here is a picture of the previously blogged about hat the KT wore. I'm pretty jealous that she got to go to a fancy party and hob-nob with Athens glitteratti in my hat, but I'm glad I could play some small role.

Tonight is CB's much anticipated birthday party extravaganza in which we pack up the cars and head into Atlanta in Friday afternoon rush-hour traffic...on a holiday weekend...because we are crazy. Also because The Classic City doesn't have anywhere to play Whirly-ball. I can't wait!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A guest, y'all!

Please don’t stop reading when you hear this, but your most gracious host has actually allowed a guest posting from someone who was raised by… Yankees. If you bear with me, I will try my hardest to convert all my “yous guys” to “Y’alls.” On Sunday, I was fortunate enough to have been invited to Jeannette Rankin Women's Scholarship Fund (http://www.rankinfoundation.org/) Annual High Hat Tea and Silent Auction. A tea party! With hats!

Lovely friends of the Leisurely Lady, I do not even own a hat that does not have a bill and a fine layer of grime covering a random UGA symbol, so I needed the help of a true Southern lady for this party. So with about 15 minutes to spare before the event was to begin, I run over to The Lady’s house and she saved my day, a stunning black hat (equipped with a purple sash and white flowers & plume, which magically and perfectly matched my dress & black shoes) fit to compete for Kentucky Derby honors.

At the event, women from all over our Classic City were decked in their finest and adorning beautiful and large hats. The main floor hosted the silent auction, with about 120 items up for bid. I myself threw down a bid on a session at Pints and Paints for 9 of my closest friends, and I did so for the following reasons;

1.     All proceeds were going to the Jeannette Rankin Women’s Scholarship to support women obtaining higher forms of education, a cause I truly believe in.

2.     I was lucky enough to have been sponsored to attend this event, so I threw down what would have been the cost of the ticket.

3.     It’s painting sessions while you are drinking with your 9 closest friends! I can not even begin to fathom what new colors I could invent given that scenario.

Alas (is that Southern or Shakespearean?), I was outbid, and I ventured into the main auditorium where more guest were mingling. A woman approached me and said that I looked like a lady to know, then proceeded to introduce herself as the new elected mayor of our fair city! I was a little overwhelmed, but she complimented my hat (Sorry, Lady, it’s now mine for the rest of the story), and I tried to keep the awkward, flailing arms to a minimum (I believe it’s a Yankee trait). She would later receive the “Atta Girl Award” for being a women of distinction in our community, and the silent auction item of having a lunch with her was one of the largest selling items, but don’t y’all (see, I did it) forget who’s hat she complimented first!

And continuing about this hat of mine, there were hidden judges in the crowd, handing out invitations if they liked your hat to be part of the High Hat Parade, and I actually got one! When the program began they requested that everyone who received a card come forward to start the march. Previously I had spied another young lady with a card and I told her that we should go up together. I was very candid that my intention would be that my hat was large enough that I would be able to block her from the judges’ view. She simply giggled at me. Well, then my competitive spirit was awakened and I was ready to walk my hat for all that it was worth, and readers this hat has made it through a Project Runway Party or two, so it’s solid gold in my book! We line up and start our parade, and she has the audacity to skip. It was virtually impossible to divert attention away from her. Of course, when the judges’ decisions had been made, she received honorable mention in the junior hat category. She was 9 and had made her hot pink hat that day at the numerous children’s tables at the event. Some girls have all the luck!

I shook it off because the live action was up next and the prizes were doozies. A week stay at a 12 person cabin, a week stay at a 9 person beach house, a super insane spa day package, and what I would like to refer to as, “Better Things to do with Gardening Equipment than Garden.”

What you are seeing is a wheelbarrow full of over $450 worth of imbibe-ments. If it looks blurry, that would be because my tears at the sight of such beauty were almost too much to steady my little phone still. Hanging from the sides were even gifts certificates for Terrapin Tours and Trapeze Gift cards. I tipped my hat, and gave that auctioneer a look of determination that said, “that barrow of fun” would be mine. The bidding started at $50, my hand went up. Then $100, I was right there again. Then $200… now wait a minute, what happened to the $50 increments? Before I could make sense of the transition that wheelbarrow went for $700! Wonderful for both the Jeannette Rankin Foundation and for PBR, the beverage of settling that I will carry on with until next year’s event.

The event concluded with slideshows, lectures, and accolades to the women of JRF. It was exciting to see what the women of my community were doing for low income women in this country, and in the namesake of Jeannette Rankin, the first women in the US Congress. It made me feel empowered to have not worn any pantyhose, but please don’t tell The Lady! One of the scholarship recipients was flown in from California to be a guest speaker. When she had applied for the JRF scholarship she entitled her essay, “It’s My Turn Now,” the same she would use for her college admissions essay to Spellman University. She had worked hard to put her own to daughters through college, the first of their family, as a single mother, and now she is getting a higher degree so that she could help others. She was breath-taking, and in an adorable white pill box hat no less. A surprise was bestowed upon her at the end of the event, in which a request was made of the party-goers to make a donation so that a scholarship could be made in the name of the woman, again who was herself a past and present scholarship winner! Well, I did not get all dressed up for nothing and maybe the spirit of The Lady lingers in our hat, but I marched myself right up there too. Plus, I’m that kinda girl that just has to spend some money when I go places. They raised enough to fund a scholarship in less than 10 minutes. I will always be amazed by the generosity of women who possess as much gumption as fresh flowers in their hats.

I will say this for the event, I did not see any tea, but I found the cash bar and a renewed sense of sisterhood, starting with a very last minute phone call simply to borrow a hat from a friend.

On the fondest behalf of The Lady,

KT