Outgifted...

I hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas! I spent mine in Columbia, South Carolahna with the parents, siblings, my cousin, and quite a few dogs. It was a ton of fun and it's always a treat to have The Lady's Mother cook for a few days. Yum!!! I even enjoyed the soysage. Seriously. Plus, I scored tons of sweet gifts like a camera, a sweater, mom found these really neat pictures of The Daynes Building (yeah, there's a building), some CDs, jewelry, and...AN OYSTER SHUCKER!!!

Unfortunately, due to the first white Christmas The Classic City has seen in over 120 years, I had to scoot a bit early to beat the snow home. Y'all know Southahn Ladies do not drive in snow. The deal was sweetened a bit, however, since CB had actually left his parents on Christmas Eve (naughty son!), so we got to exchange presents. I put together a stocking full of random things he likes in addition to his big gift which was a Scott Parker replica Westham United FC jersey. What the heck is that? It's not important. Suffice it to say that it's really cool and thoughtful because I'm the best girlfriend ever...at least that's what I thought. When I got to his house, I was presented with this:

An instruction book on how to open my gift. First was a pair of sparkly red shoes. And no, they were not in my size. He did, however, subject himself to receiving the American Girl catalogue until the end of time in order to get them.

Next up was a "straw"basket filled with chocolate. 

Then it got a little weird. The next gift was a splatter guard. I think he and my mom were in cahoots to see who could get me the most random kitchen item. Mom won. The hint that I didn't get: This is supposed to be made of "tin."

Next up was a pair of hand knit Gryffindor socks!!! We could've stopped here and I'd have been a happy camper. I love knit socks. Cousisns, if you read this and you don't wear the knit socks Grandma sends...I WILL!!! P.S. The symbol for Gryffindor is a lion...

If' you've guessed it by now, you're a lot smarter than I (calm down, it's not that big of an accomplishment). I didn't really try to guess, though. I turned the page and found...

Two tickets to see WICKED!!! He told me I could take whomever I like, so favors and bribes will be accepted until March 1; however, I must warn you that CB is the front-runner at the moment despite the fact that he totally and completely outgifted me.

Overall, it was a pretty amazing Christmas...and not just because of the loot. It's so nice to be able to take a break and see family, spend some time celebrating with friends, eat Candy Cane Joe Joe's, and most of all, to remember the birth of Christ which is the best gift of all and why we celebrate in the first place!

Fondest regards,

The Thankful Lady

P.S. Thank you cards are in the mail. Obvi.

When you just don't know what to say...

Only two days left to Christmas, dear friends, and I thought it might be time to remind you that a Lady of Leisure never balks at the hand crocheted vest from grandma or the set of cat mugs from her aunt that you could swear you saw at last year's family gift swap. No, she is able to graciously accept all gifts good or bad. Here are some pointers:

1. You know the gifts that are likely to be less than stellar. Be prepared.

2. Keep a smile on your face NO MATTER WHAT!

3. Avoid umm...eggnog when opening gifts. It makes you a little more prone to honesty.

4. Try to remember how much thought, time, energy went into making, preparing, purchasing your gift. It really is the thought that counts.

5. When all else fails, go in for a long hug. This will make it more difficult to see your face and the giver will just assume you were too touched for words.

Here's a little more help from a couple of people funnier than I:

I hope you all get just what you want this year!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

The Lady and the Little Lady

The Kid is out of school for the holidays which means we get to think of creative ways to entertain ourselves from 9-5. I had a lock-in Sunday night, so Monday I was pretty much out of commission. Thankfully, her school had a "Parents' (or sitters'!!!) morning out"deal, so I was able to get 3 hours of sleep before hanging out with her. For the afternoon it was kind of an "I'm here, but I'm not really here" situation. I got a lot of, "Miss Daaaaynes, why are you so tired?" I managed to stay "awake" for the afternoon, but I felt like I needed to make up for it today with a super fun activity...

ICE SKATING!!! We headed into Atlanta to skate at Centennial Park. We listened to the Mary Poppins soundtrack on the way in and she asked if we were in Atlanta yet between every song. Once we got to the rink though, the complaints were silenced. For a kid who'd never put on skates before, she was a champ! She fell a few times, but she'd get back up, dust herself off, and skate on. After that was a trip to The Varsity where we stuffed ourselves (in the most lady-like fashion, of course) with a chili dog and a half each plus onion rings, and then home, but not before some hot chocolate...

Notice that pinky? Also, she talked for most of the trip about how much she wanted to live in Atlanta because they have a skating rink and The Fox Theater. I think we may have a future LoL on our hands. It was a pretty great day overall, but I think we wore each other out. I saw her and her aunt leaving the basketball game (which the Dawgs dominated!) at the half because she needed to go to bed. Me too. Chuck-E-Cheese tomorrow and then we'll have Christmas presents to play with!!! Apparently she asked Santa for a dragon and a fairy, so those should keep us pretty busy for the rest of the break. Anyone know if dragons can be housebroken?

Fondest regards,

The Lady

P.S. I asked CB if I could give him my present tomorrow (the lady-like way to ask if I'm getting a present tomorrow) because it's our last chance to hang out before Christmas. I got a maybe. And not a teasing sort of maybe, an actual maybe. Apparently part of my gift is still at the post office! I offered to go pick it up for him, but I took his laughter as a "no, thank you." I suppose it'll be something to look forward to after Christmas. He told me he wouldn't open his gift until he had mine, but I may force it upon him anyway. I'm pretty excited about it.

There is a reason that Ladies of Leisah pay other people to do things for them. A couple of weeks ago I cancelled my Charter service because I was tired of paying $60/month to the spawn on satan. I called up AT&T and they seemed nice enough and promised that my bill wouldn't go up in six months and that I wouldn't be required to get cable. What a deal! Then they offered me all the extra stuff like a modem and a tech to come set everything up. "No, no," said I, "I can do all that myself!" Silly girl. I forgot that I actually repel technology. Literally. Like Pauly D's hair repels water.

After 2 hours on the phone with a very patient AT&T tech supporter, I am finally back online in my apartment. I feel like I should send the tech a Christmas present or something. Next time I probably ought to just do the leishaly thing and fork over the set-up fee. So much for going in to work today! The Kid's getting out early, so I need to go hit the carpool line. I should probably go ahead and armor my car for the SUV zoo I am about to encounter.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Santa baby...

Once again, I am sorry for my blogging negligence. If anyone still reads this from time to time, I have been without the interwebs in my apartment for a couple of weeks. It will be remedied soon (I hope) and I will go back to not posting due to laziness.
In his sermon a couple of weeks ago, my pastor said, "When you're a kid, Christmas only comes once every ten years. When you're an adult, it starts to come about every four months." It's statements like these that make me feel really old. It's true, though. Christmas is here again and I feel like we just wrapped up last year. Not that I'm complaining. Really, I couldn't wait to get my tree up and wrap presents and what not. It's now less than 2 weeks to Christmas and I'm starting to feel like a little kid trying to wait. My decorations are up, the shopping's done, and everything's wrapped. I even have my Christmas dress for the year. It's a little sad because I feel like all of the fun is in the preparation. Seriously, I've thought about just going out and buying more presents so that I have more to wrap. There's one more present that hasn't arrived yet and I walk up to my door expectantly every afternoon, hoping that the mail carrier has left one more thing for me to wrap. Maybe I should get another job or something.
As excited as I get about giving gifts, getting them is a little more difficult for me. Not because people don't love me...please, that joke was too easy if you were thinking it. No, I'm fabulous and there are plenty of people asking what to get me. The trouble is, I just don't ever know what I want. So here it is, The Lady of Leisure's must haves: Christmas Edition...

1. Red and green? Please! The real color of the season is Tiffany blue. This little bauble would look so good on my finger. Way better than the one that British Tart has. She's not really a tart, but I am a little jealous of her ring. To clarify, (just in case anyone passes this list on) mine would be for cocktail parties and not lifelong commitments.

2. A vacation home. Coincidentally, the largest ocean-front on St. Simon's is on sale right now! I couldn't copy the picture, but call Klickie Aiken (isn't that the best realtor name EVER?!) and I'm sure she'd be happy to show you. BTW, if you do decide to get me this for Christmas, I will happily let you and yours vacation there for free.

3. A new car. This cute little V8 vantage roadster by Aston Martin will do just fine. I promise I won't drive it on the beach, though.

4. A mink coat. Yes, I live in Georgia. No, I probably won't wear it more than twice a year. However, you show me a Lady of Leisah and I will show you a woman with a fabulous fur coat. Plus, it has been really cold lately.

5. Party shoes. What should I wear to my holiday party? Who cares if these are on my feet?! Okay, I didn't mean that. Of course I would still wear something fabulous.

I don't want to seem greedy, so I'll end the list there. If you still need ideas, I am sure the holiday catalogue at Neiman Marcus will have some good ones.

Fondest regards and happy shopping,

The Lady

On Tuesdays I babysit an extra kid. Normally this is the easiest day of the week because the two kids entertain each other and Miss Daynes can just sit quietly with a book (no worries, I check in periodically to make sure they're still alive and not playing with fire or sharp objects). Today, however, was not that day.

We went over to E-'s house to play because she has way better dress up clothes and it means that The Kid gets to put off piano practice for an hour or so. E- also has two sweet labs that I let outside as soon as we get home. Normally, the dogs would stay outside, but it was raining today, so I let them come in. I was surprised to find that they are trained to wipe their feet. So far, so good. The girls and I finish our book and they go upstairs to play while I nuke some popcorn. The dogs follow. Suddenly, the baby monitor goes silent. It's quiet. Too quiet. I decide to go upstairs to make sure the dogs haven't eaten the kids. They hadn't. I find the kids hiding in the playroom with the doors closed so the dogs can't get in. The dogs, however aren't interested in the playroom because they're too busy feasting on a dirty diaper they've discovered. I clean up what I can (while The Kid helpfully points to pieces I've missed) and then go hunt for a vacuum. In my hunt I discover that the dog has regurgitated the aforementioned diaper. Pause the vacuum hunt to clean this mess. Finally find a vacuum after snooping through the entire house.  Thankfully, microwaves have a magic popcorn button that cooks for just the right time because I'd forgotten about snack time. The girls enjoy their snack while I go vacuum. The dogs stay in time out for the rest of the afternoon. The Kid knew better than to complain (too much) about piano practice when we got back to her house.

After that I needed a stiff dessert. Enter Trader Joe's:

Totally worth braving torrential downpours to get some of these bad boys. I'm pretty sure these cookies are laced with crack. I've already consumed an entire box almost by myself. At this pace, I'm looking at 4 boxes by Christmas, but I can't think of a tastier way to put on some winter weight.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Months with R R my faves...

Ladies of Leisah should eat oysters on the half shell. It feels like such a Southahn thing to do...especially if the oysters are Gulf Oysters and not those yankee oysters from New England which are probably smaller and grumpier from living in the cold. Here's to one of the few good things winter has to offer!

Thanksgiving

It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me has spent more than 2 minutes with me that Thanksgiving is my absolutely favorite holiday. A whole day devoted to food? Yes, please. As I've gotten older, I've had to (grudgingly) adjust to changing traditions. However, despite new dwellings and new diets, there are a few tried and true traditions that have not changed. Here's how the day normally goes down:

1. Watch The Parade. If I was a better daughter, I would help my mom in the kitchen, but I'm not. My real responsibility in the family is to tell everyone when the holiday season has officially begun... i.e. when Santa gets to Macy's. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying...or unAmerican. Also, I'm responsible for making judgmental comments the rest of the family can ignore:

Me: American Idiot? More like American Idiotic...
The Rest of the Family: What are you talking about?
Me: That stupid musical. Those guys standing there with guitars singing that Green Day song that gets stuck in you head for weeks at a time. No dancing, no costumes, no...Are you guys even paying attention now? You know what? Nevermind. I'll tell you when Santa gets here.

2. Make cranberries. It's important to look like you've contributed to some aspect of meal prep. Chop something, stir something, whatever it takes to be able to say you helped. The more you can say you helped before the meal, the less likely you are to be recruited for post-meal clean-up. Of course, Mom's in the kitchen doing dishes as we speak. I'm such a bad daughter.

3. Watch National Dog Show. This is a tradition that I don't really understand nor do I find all that entertaining; however, nothing says LoL more than rich people having a contest about who's pet is bred better. Respect.

4. Stir something...even if it doesn't need to be stirred. This is the point at which I also utter the words, "Is there anything I can do?" Word of caution: Know your surroundings before asking this question. Ideal conditions involve a reasonably clean looking kitchen, nothing mid-chop, and a relative air of calm from The Matriarch. Otherwise, you may be answered in the affirmative.

5. Eat dinner. This year's menu included Turkey (much better than mine), soy-sausage dressing, gravy, cranberries, root vegetables, brussels sprouts (also better than mine), mashed potatoes, salmon, and salad. Delicious!

6. Sit around and talk about what we're going to do next because we can't just sit here and watch TV all day. Ummmm....I may have been adopted.

We've eaten, cleaned up, skyped and cell-phoned the fam that's not here and now it's time to sit around and just be thankful for full bellies, warm houses, and loving families and friends...and maybe eat a little ton of dessert.

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your hearts be thankful, your days be leisahly, and your glasses be full...of um chocolate milk!

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Friendsgiving 2010

We've anticipated it for so long and this weekend it finally happened!!! No, not Harry Potter. You already know how that's going to end. The real excitement of the weekend was the first annual Friendsgiving. The idea has been tossed about in the past, but this year I said, "Let's do it! I really want to share a meal with all of you because I love you so much!...what?...NO! Of course it doesn't have anything to do with my parents becoming vegetarians!" Really. Honest. Meal with friends.
As any true Lady of Leisah would, I love showing off my culinary acumen, so this was a highly anticipated event for me. After weeks of pouring over recipes, making and revising grocery lists, planning the cooking schedule, and a lovely trip to Trader Joe's, Saturday was The Big Day. It felt almost like real Thanksgiving except that the parade wasn't on TV. Also, I was allowed to cook more than just the cranberries.

First came a trip to the Farmer's Market because any good LoL knows you can't show up at someone's house for dinner without some flowers...even if you're brining dinner. I can't believe I hadn't been here before!

Next came turkey prep and cooking. This was big, people. I have only roasted a turkey once before, so I was a little anxious about this. I'm really not sure why roasting a turkey is so intimidating, though. You start with this:

You just pour some butter over it and pop it in the oven for a few hours while you sit and read Harry Potter 7, and you end up with this:

It's okay to ooh and aah. It was a good bird.

The rest of the cooking was the tricky part. We had to be at the K-'s house at 7, so I had to time everything right so that it would be warm when we got there. Also, I had to look cute. I wish y'all could have seen me as I made gravy, whipped cream, blanched brussels sprouts, caramelized shallots, and sauteed green beans all at the same time. No lie. And I didn't even mess up my hair or make-up. Okay, I messed up the make-up a little bit (Tip: put on mascara after you slice shallots). And all of it was ready to go when CB picked me up.

Once at the K-'s we did have one casualty. My beautiful green beans sauteed with shallots, mushrooms, and almonds were dropped on the lawn in my attempt to get everything in one load. I cried a little, but CB was really broken up about it:

I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the only green vegetable left after that was the roasted brussels sprouts.

Otherwise, the meal went off without a hitch.

B- got to use her wedding china for the first time in almost 11 years:

And we all enjoyed a perfectly lovely meal together:

I even ate (most of) one of the deviled eggs that CB made and didn't gripe about it...which is more than I can say about his attitude toward my brussels sprouts:

Me: How'd you like the sprouts.
CB: I could use them in a pinch.
Me: How much pinch? Like, if you survive the zombie apocolypse and they're the only food you can find?
CB: I'd use them as a weapon and throw them at the zombies.

Then the gentlemen offered to clean up since the ladies had been slaving away all day:

And then we had dessert:

C- made a pumpkin cheesecake, I made a french silk pie, and K- made a fruit tart. I also made real whipped cream which always impresses everyone, but I'm not really sure why. I did feel a little bad because I used my stand mixer instead of mixing it by hand. Julia mixed it by hand, so I mix it by hand. Don't judge. Hand or stand, it was still whipped cream and not whipped topping...which is just gross...and a little lazy. Yeah, I went there.

There is a strong, lingering essence of turkey in my apartment. I think it's permeated the furniture...and I'm okay with that. And my kitchen still looks like this:

But it was totally worth it. The only thing better than a Thanksgiving meal is two Thanksgiving meals...uh...I mean a good meal with friends!

Just in case you were wondering, CB did take me to see Harry Potter this weekend. Obvi.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Friends taking sides...

To clarify for those of you who were less than thrilled about the last post, I am not the one that ends our relationship each year. FOOTBALL DUMPS ME, FOLKS!

I will stand by Football week in and week out. I will work my butt off to keep our relationship going strong. Maybe I can't make it to every game. Maybe I do occasionally complain about the team's failure to convert the 3rd down. That doesn't mean that I love football any less. In a week and a day, I will be cheering for the Dawgs to wreck Tech. After that, I will be watching every play of whatever bowl game we...yeah WE...go to. I will wait in anticipation for the G-Day game. I will spend my spring reading blogs and arguing with old men, and occasionally, I will drive past Sanford Stadium (where we used to spend our best days together) and long for the day when football will take ME back.

For the record, it's nice to know who will side with whom after Football breaks my heart.

In the meantime, Football, I'm still on for our date next Saturday and I promise to look cute. Until then, this goes out to you.

Yours always,
The Lady

On the rebound...

I have kind of an on again/off again relationship with football, and I find myself falling into the same, dysfunctional pattern every year...

August to September is a blissfully wonderful honeymoon phase. The weather is great, I hang out with all my friends, and I get to pull out those game day dresses that I haven't worn in a year. Our relationship is filled with hope and promise and I could not be more excited.

Then October comes and it gets to be a little more work. I still love football, but I find myself getting a little resentful that it's taken up all of my Saturdays and I no longer have time to do all the things I used to love. However, I am not a fair weather fan and I know that any good relationship takes work.

Come November, though, I may find myself skipping a game. Football's all like, "Are we hanging out this weekend?" and I'm all like, "No. I have to work." At this point in the season moods have changed, too. If we're winning, everyone's high strung and stressed out. If we're losing, everyone's just mean.

Then the week after Thanksgiving we have the talk:

Football: I just don't think this is working. We need a break. You're great and I appreciate all the time and cute outfits you've put into this season, but we just don't have the heat anymore. You feel it, right?

Me: Yeah, I know. It's just too much work and you're right, it was like 30 degrees at that last night game. Maybe in another time and another place...

We may hook up a couple of times after that, but we're pretty much done and I can play the field so to speak.

Enter Basketball. Basketball is like Football's less attractive friend who's all like, "Hey, football didn't treat you right, but I'm here now." And I'm all like, "Eh, you're okay and I don't have anything better going on..." It's fun for a while, but I know it's just a rebound thing. I can tell because I'm okay with wearing jeans and t-shirts. Maybe even more than once in the same season.

I have a feeling that it's happening again. Football's about to dump me and we may not even be hooking up for New Year's this time. I've been hanging out with Basketball a little bit, though, and it's going pretty well. I'm thinking this season might be the start of something real between us. We even doubled last night with my friend K- and her son.

In the fall, though, football's all like, "I miss you and I want you back." And I'm all like, "Me too. Let's never fight again!"

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Lessons in Babysitting...

The Kid: How old are you?

Miss Daynes: It's rude to ask old ladies how old they are.

The Kid: It's rude to ask old ladies EVERYTHING! You can't ask how old they are, you can't ask how much they weigh, you can't ask what they're holding.

Miss Daynes: It's always okay to ask one how she is enjoying the weather.

The Kid: That's boring.

I feel like I begin every post apologizing for being such a negligent blogger. Sorry again. After the last post, I just didn't want to talk about it. I still don't, really. Here's what I will say, I have never been prouder to be a Dawg than I am this season and I would rather lose with Mark Richt than win with any other coach. We're certainly not perfect, but I am proud that our coach has made it clear where his priorities stand what will and will not be tolerated on or off the field.

What to catch you up on...

-Jacksonville was actually really fun (apart from the end of the game). I enjoyed meeting CB's friends. They do get their kicks from heckling those of us that lack PhDs and they tattle, but other than that, they're pretty cool. Anyone that picks up the tab at dinner is okay in my book.

-We took almost 60 kids on a retreat in SC last weekend. It was really cold and not at all leisahly, but we had fun.

-This past weekend I opted out of a trip to the plains. I just couldn't take another road loss. It was a lovely weekend, however, of catching up on missed television and spending time with friends that I have been neglecting of late.

I think that's all the news that matters...except that none of it really matters that much. Things are cooling down here and I'm pretty grumpy about this whole "inevitable winter" situation we've got going on, but I have to admit that I really love Athens in the fall. The leaves are beautiful and it's still warm enough that I don't need a jacket, but cool enough that I can wear a scarf. That said, I would appreciate it if y'all would leave your cars running, your refrigerator doors open, and maybe use up a can or two of hairspray in an attempt to avoid this whole, ugly winter mess next year.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Jacksonville or bust...

It's the last weekend in October and you know what that means...No! Who gives a crap about candy when there's football to be watched. Okay, okay, I still care about the candy (that I fully plan on systematically and secretly stealing from The Kid come Monday). I digress. The last weekend in October is when the Bulldawg nation leaves the Dawg house and heads into the land of jean shorts and mullets. That's right...it's the World's Largest Cocktail Party (less commonly referred to as the GA/FL game). I anticipate it with dread look forward to it all year and it's finally upon us. The best part being that this year I actually get to go! I've tried in the past, but there was always something holding me back. This year I was invited, y'all. I feel a little bit like I just got called up to the Big Leagues of fandom.
I don't want to risk jinxing anything, so I'm just going to leave it at that for now. Suffice it to say that I am terribly excited...and a little nervous as I will be meeting CB's friends for the first time. He is very little help in informing me what to expect. Anecdotal example: I asked if these were jeans and t-shirt people or dress people. His response: "Jeans and t-shirt will be fine. Or a dress. Wear whatever you want." Hello! This is important! ...Ugh. Boys!

In other news...the previously mentioned Trader Joe's opens tomorrow!!! Also, I'm in love...with The Classic City's new cupcake place, Silver Lining Cupcake Co.!!! The cupcake lady already recognizes me. These will probably get their own posts at some point, but I'm just to excited to contain it until then.

Fondest Regards,
The Lady

Lessons in babysitting: Don't try to kid a kidder...

I made The Kid cry today. Every once in a while it is necessary to make children cry so that they don't turn into pansies...even if you don't intend to. Here's how it went down:

The Kid: Knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
The Kid: Boo!
Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
The Kid: Hahaha...no, knock, knock
Me: Who's there?
The Kid: Boo!
Me: AAAAAHHHHH! Why do you keep scaring me?
The Kid: Noooooo, you're supposed to say, "Boo who?"
Me: Why are you crying, you were the one scaring me.
The Kid: (in tears) You-oo-oo ruined my jo-o-o-ke
Me: Really?
The Kid: It wasn't fu-u-ny.
Me: Um, yeah, actually it was.

And I still think it was hilarious. I might feel worse if she wasn't turning into such a smart-butt from hanging around me all the time. It was time to knock her down a peg or two and show her who the comedian is in our relationship.

Fondest regards and happy sitting,
The Lady

Friday morning (afternoon) ramblings...

One of the advantages to my job is that I have Fridays off because I work on Sundays. It's a pretty cool deal most of the time because I can sleep in, stay in my underwear pajamas all day, watch movies or catch up on the Thursday night television that I missed, and I get to do my laundry while everyone else is at work and there are no neighbors competing for the 1 working washer and dryer. The downside is that all of my friends are working, so there's really not much to do besides be lazy...especially when the bank account is in such a state as to make trips to Target and Ann Taylor Loft a really bad idea.
This week has gone down in history as the week of the failed parties adjusting to the unexpected. I told you about my plans for a Chilean Mine rescue party, well...I invited the friends with the warning that I am Mother Hubbard, but then I went to the grocery store and stocked up. Ladies of Leisah just do not host BYOB parties. Picked up the kid, went to Bible Study and got home with 20 minutes to pick up the apartment and set my computer up. Fail. The internet was not working well (it's possible I failed to remind the friends that I don't have television and we'd be watching my laptop) so I told them to hang tight until I figured out if a viewing party was even possible. Keep in mind that we are short on time at this point. Originally, the rescue was supposed to take 36 hours, but they were running a bit ahead of schedule. By 9 pm they had 31 of the 33 miners out. Short story long, I finally texted the friends and cencelled as the internet was just not doing it for me. I called Col. Brandon and shamelessly invited myself over to watch his television. I got there at 9, just in time to see people cheering and hugging the last miner. I missed it! Fail again...not that I'm not ecstatic about them getting all the men out as quickly as they could.
So now I've got all these hors d'oeuvres and booze chocolate milk to take care of. So, for lunch the next day, in true fat kid fashion, I consumed an entire tub of salsa and the better part of a bag of corn chips. Friends, let me tell you that, while these things are wonderful in moderation, the high acidity of tomatoes combined with all that salt and the corn chips made my mouth hurt so bad.
Good thing I had friends coming over that night to help me get rid of some of the food. Party number 2 of the week was to be a screening of My Fair Lady with D- and H- who both had much to do that night and did not have leisah time enough to watch a 3 hour film even if it does have Audrey Hepburn in it. We watched Emma instead which was delightful as always. I also cooked a chicken casserole in true LoL fashion. I heart casserole, y'all. However, we did not really eat any of the food I purchased for party #1, so now I have that plus a whole bunch of leftover casserole. Poor CB does not get meals made for him, he just gets the leftovers from meals I've made for other people. Oh well.
This morning I did the laundry, but I only had enough quarters for one round in the dryer. Does it defeat the purpose of washing your clothes if you have to lay them out on your dirty floor to dry?
Time to get off the couch and start my day I suppose. Gotta go pick up football tickets (woot!) for tomorrow's game against Vandy. I also need to figure out what to wear to said game and what the tailgating schedule will be. And I need to pick out something to wear to dinner tonight. Maybe I should go shopping...wait, no. Wow, now that I think about it, my to-do list is pretty lengthy. I probably won't have time to go to the gym today...darn. Time to get to w@$k!
Have a leisahly weekend, friends and GO DAWGS!

Fondest regards,
The Lady

"It really has been magic. We will never forget this night." ~Chilean Presidente Pinera

Back in August it seemed like every time I turned on the news, the world was in worse shape. People dying in the Middle East, oil pouring into the Gulf of Mexico, earthquakes in Pakistan, the Braves beginning to blow a 7 game lead, Lindsey Lohan, etc. When 33 Chilean miners were trapped, it seemed like just one more horrific event to heap onto the growing pile of crap... Until they sent up a note. They were all alive. Hope.
The men made it 17 days on 48 hours worth of rations. For over 2 months they have been trapped half a mile below the surface of the earth with little to do but wait for rescue. It is overwhelming to think of the physical and emotional stress that these miners must have gone through, not only separated from their loved ones, but completely trapped in an overcrowded and small space. I can't even live with a roommate. It has been an inspiring story to watch as families and miners sent notes back and forth. Men sent videos telling about their living space and letting their loved ones know they were alright. Throughout this whole ordeal, it seems that Hope has prevailed at a time when it would've been so easy to give up.

Photo from msnbc.com

Last night I watched as the first miner was hoisted half a mile through solid rock and delivered to his son and wife. It was beautiful and I was reminded of just how good and faithful God is. These men should have died, gone crazy, turned on one another. They should not be able to walk out of that capsule on their own and embrace their families. But they can and it's a miracle!
In true LoL fashion, I'll be hosting a viewing party to watch as they hoist the last man out tonight.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Roughing it at home...

The food situation chez moi is becoming dire, friends. Grocery shopping (other than for coffee) has not been high on my priority list as I have been lunching with girlfriends almost every day and dining with CB almost every night. On Saturdays I tailgate. Hence, there is little reason and even littler time for trips to Kroger, which tend to not be very leisahly anyway. Today, though, I was hit with the shocking realization that it may be time to go to the grocery store for real.
I keep an emergency supply of ramen noodles in my cupboard in case a date unexpectedly falls through (which rarely happens because I am difficult to book and, let's face it, way too fabulous to cancel on). Nevertheless, sometimes duty calls and a friend will have to work through lunch as was the case with today's girl-date. Sooo...I went home to lunch there and discovered, to my dismay, that I was down to the last of the emergency noodle packets! After a very quick inventory, I determined that I have no real food (and by real I mean anything that goes bad after a few weeks) in my kitchen. All of this leishaly dining has spoiled me and left me kitchen bereft of everything besides a jar of pickles, peanut butter, beer, parmesan cheese, milk, and half and half. Seriously. That is it. I'm a little ashamed of myself and I think it's probably time to cook an actual meal. Good thing D- is coming over Thursday for dinner and a movie. Plus, I probably owe CB a lot of dinners. I hope they both like pickles and peanut butter!

Fondest Regards,
The Lady

P.S. The Classic City is soon to be even more fabulous with the opening of a Trader Joe's!!!! Shopping will be fun again!!!

Lately, Saturdays have been a little rough. Football season is always a bust time of year and occasionally it can feel a bit stressful getting to tailgates and kickoffs each week and pick out a new outfit to wear to each game. Even when the Dawgs are winning this can be a bit stressful; however, lately they have been losing. Bad. And Saturdays have become less and less leisahly and more and more like w@$k. I hate to use such strong language because I almost always have some fun, but losing means more noon games which means waking up earlier. It also means the game ending earlier and me having to spend the entire afternoon being pissy instead of just sulking home and going to bed. Basically, I've needed a nice leisahly Saturday and that is just what I got today.

After sleeping in (it's what you do when the cast of Jersey Shore is arguing outside your window at 4 am), I spent a leisahly morning drinking coffee and didn't head to the tailgate until 10ish (this may seem like a reasonable time, but keep in mind that I was 2 hours late...as usual). My bosom friend, S- (who wants a blog name),* took me to the game this week. I have to admit that my excitement about going to the games each week has been waning with every defeat. Loss after loss tends to make one a little pessimistic. However, friends, we won the game soundly and, as an added bonus, I couldn't even hear "Rocky Top" over all the cheering.

Post-game we headed back for some more tailgating. I forgot how lovely my friends are because we've been in such bad moods the last few weeks, but I very much enjoyed their company today. Plus, there was, as always, lot's of good food.

After an afternoon of lounging and catching up on missed television, a date with CB capped off the night. Fried chicken at Zaxby's, movie at the dollar theater (all my idea)...he says I'm a simple girl, but I prefer "low-maintenance." We'll let him think that for a little while longer...

All in all it was a lovely Saturday. Quite leisahly and much needed after a string of disappointing ones. Now, if the Braves can pull off a win tomorrow, this might just go down in history as a perfect weekend!

Fondest regards and keep choppin',

The Lady

*S-, I think, in keeping with naming people for literary characters, your blog name will be Leslie Ford. She and Anne are bosom friends and I like her better than Diana. Plus, she belongs to the race of Joseph.

There is not enough downtown space to waste on poor restaurants.

Gentle Readers,

If you are going to open up a bahbeque restaurant in the south and be so presumptuous as to give it a Southern name like "The Cotton Club," you better be ready to back it up with some dang good que. The basic rules for said good que are as follows:

1. The pork must be cooked on-site. It shouldn't have to be said, but there you go.

2. The cooked-on-site pork should be able to stand alone as excellent que. I will almost certainly put sauce on it, but it should be because I want to not because I have to.

3. A good meat to bun ratio is key and one should always err on the side of too much meat.

I am always up for trying a new restaurant in my beloved Classic City, especially when it offers good Southahn Fare. Unfortunately, despite a promising name, menu, and location, The Cotton Club disappointed. There was no smoked pork essence wafting in the air (which may account for the lack of flavor in the barbeque), I'm pretty sure the sauce was some oily variation of ketchup, and the taste of said sauce and pork didn't actually matter because all I really got was mouthful after mouthful of bun. Honestly, I was so distracted with wondering what Yankee opened this affront to Southern cuisine that I forgot to order Tea!!!

On the bright side, Col. Brandon is taking me to the North Georgia State Fair tonight where I am certain to find some piece of deep fried glory to put my taste buds back in a Southahn State of mind! More on that latah...

Fondest Regards,

The Lady

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Life has just been pretty dull of late. Not in a bad way, I just don't have entertaining stories to tell. My friend K- posted about her family adventure in trying to open a coconut. S- could tell you about adventures in sewing with rick-rack. I have been sitting at home re-watching both seasons of _Sports Night_, the greatest show on television. I am not about to talk football right now. I suppose I can tell you about my attempt to give blood the other day...

I have O-, so the Red Cross calls me a lot and I am pretty passionate about the importance of donating. So, my friend B- and I went to a blood drive the other day pretty pumped about giving. Get it? Pumped?...Aaaanyway, B- got through the Q&A session, gave her blood and was sitting at the cookie table before they had even figured out that I'm not eligible to give for 12 months because I might have malaria from being in the Philippines. Sweet. They, of course, figured this out after pricking TWO fingers to get a good hemocrit result. Lesson learned. From now on I will discuss my jet-setting right off the bat. Soooo...since I can't give blood, I figured I'd give you the reasons you should:

10. The Red Cross people are really nice and sometimes they'll flirt with you a little. Especially if you are O-. They really think O-s are hot.

9. You always wanted a way to lose weight will sitting on your butt.

8. Neon is so hot right now which means the bandage (which you may be able to color coordinate to your outfit) is this season's must-have accessory.

7. Said bandage will get you attention for the rest of the day. "What's that bandage for?" "Oh, nothing. I just gave blood." "Wow. You are cool.".

6. Vampires. I have to believe that the most likely place for me to meet a Cullen is a blood drive.

5. Free cookies and fruit punch. 'Nuf said.

4. It gives you a good excuse to feel faint and swoon a bit. Swooning seems like a very leisahly thing to do.

3. You are instructed to eat well for the rest of the day. As if I needed to be told to eat well, but sometimes it's nice to have an excuse to pig out. Plus you've lost all that weight, so you're good.

2. You're also instructed to take it easy and not do too much physical activity for the rest of the day. Again, like I need a reason to skip the gym, but I'll take it.

1. You can save 3 lives.

I'm pretty bummed that I won't be able to give until next summer, but I hope some of you readers will step up in my absence. Giving blood is cool.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A girl can dream...

Today The Kid said, "When I get married my husband's going to bring me presents and I'm going to dress like a princess every day." Maybe we've been spending too much time around each other...

Fondest regards,

The Lady

God is a Bulldog. ~Lewis Grizzard

It's upon us folks. We've counted down the days, spent sleepless nights researching and planning, and we've purchased the outfits. That's right. It all comes down to this...

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

If summer insists upon turning into fall and ushering us into the season of death, decay, and basketball that is winter, there's really only one way to do it and that is by filling every Saturday with NCAA football. Nay, SEC football. There are people out there (even among the few readers of this blog but I don't want to single out said aunt and sister) that have, shall we say, less than stellar taste in regards to which team to root for and which colors to wear*; however, I think we can all agree that the SEC knows how football is done. Why? Glad you asked:

1. It's in The South. That means tailgates run by Ladies of Leisure. None of the "let's just grill a brat" crap you find up north. No, we are talking about 12 hours of noshing on enough food to feed a small country while we sit around watching football.

2. The clothes. No t-shirts and jeans here (well, except the cut-off ones in Florida, but we're not counting those). Red and Black ensembles and accessories for the ladies. Seersucker and bowties for the men who aren't in Silver Britches. Everyone dressed to the nines and nobody wearing the same thing twice.

3. The football. It's just better.

It may well be a rough season (goodness knows it's no fun losing to the evil genius), but even if we lose every game, I will wake up every Saturday morning to the sound of "Glory, Glory" blaring from someone's tailgate and pray the prayer that Lewis Grizzard taught us to pray saying, "Thank you Lord for three things: Fried chicken, potato salad, and the privilege of being a Bulldog, and, Dear Lord, bless all those not as fortunate as I."**

Fondest regards,

The Lady

*Before my first football game, a true Lady of Leisure approached me and said, "Sugah, Southahn ladies do not weyah ahrange or gold," and I've kept those wise words close to my heart ever since.

**http://theantiorangepage.com/pages/20

If you give a mouse a cookie...she'll probably ask for your credit card...

I have a new addiction, friends. It's bedding. And I have come to the conclusion that heroin would be cheaper. After growing tired of the 3 year old $30 Target bedspread, I decided to go shopping for a more grown-up look, something not from the college dorm collection, if you will. Upon looking around, I remembered why I went with dorm-room chic in the first place...cheapness. I bit the bullet, however, and went with a lovely light grey duvet. Said bullet, by the way, is much easier to bite with my friend B- telling me, "Go for it. It's an investment." Her husband J- would probably say that it serves me right for all the times I've uttered the words, "Oh, you'll definitely wear that."

With the bedspread purchased, enter problem two. When you get grey bedding, you need something to liven it up. Obviously you have to go get decorative pillows, duh. Purple velvet ones (side note/question: how much purple velvet is too much purple velvet?). I have decided that I need to learn how to sew so that I can make shams. Someone is making a killing off of the Euro sham trend.

Needless to say, my bed looks amazing at the moment. Would you expect anything less? Every Lady of Leisure needs a fabulously luxurious place to rest at night...and for her afternoon nap. Besides, C- is coming this weekend which means the guest bed has to be in top form. My bank account will recover. If not, I suppose I could always rent my room out for football weekends!

Sweet dreams,

The Lady

You know those days that suck so much that all you can do is laugh about it? Yeah, and it's only 1:30.

7:30 -- Wake up pumped and ready for a great day. Start shower and wait for the water to get warm.

7:35 -- Wonder why the water still isn't warm. Jump in the shower anyway. Not cool...well cool, but not...you know what I mean.

7:45 -- Put on adorable outfit and threaten Monday via Facebook. Still maintaining awesome, pumped up attitude.

Blah, blah, blah productive morning at work despite cold shower. Feeling bad for my friend C- who's car broke down. Sucks to be her.

11:00 -- Head out to my new UMW Circle Bible Study with a smile on my face. Ready to make new friends!

11:05 -- Back into someone driving through the church parking lot. He says we don't need to call the police, but I did anyway. Insurance. Apologies. It's all pretty familiar to me at this point.* There's no damage to Help-Me-Honda and a little damage to his car.

11:30 -- Call C- and we share stories. Decide C- has it worse.

11:45 -- Arrive fashionably late to UMW meeting. Hug lots of people. Eat Marti's pimento cheese which makes everything better.

Blah, blah, blah. Still super excited about the new Bible Study. Probably will write more about that on a better day. Let me leave you with this regarding my new friends, the woman who hosted it has a copy of Etiquette. I think we're soul mates.

1:00 -- Leave UMW feeling really good. Give sympathetic smile to new friend who needs her car jumped. I know, honey, I've been there. Look down at aforementioned adorable outfit and realize I have forgotten an important element. Not to give too much information, but I think I may know why the guy I hit was so nice and didn't mind if we left the police out of it. Also, all those hugs I gave my new friends are flashing back in my mind. Who the heck forgets that article of clothing?!?!?! Earrings, maybe, zip up fly, sure but not that.

1:10 -- Call C- again who also wonders how I could forget such a thing. Decide we need umm...chocolate milk tonight. Lots and lots of umm...chocolate milk.

1:25 -- Open freezer and realize magic ice cream dispenser still has not appeared.

1:27 -- Finish getting dressed and call coworker to make sure the lack of support wasn't too noticeable (it wasn't. Thanks mom genes!).

It's 1:40 now, so I still have a whole afternoon and evening ahead of me. My spirits (along with everything else!) have been lifted, and I will conquer this day yet! Tomorrow, the girls and I go to The Sound of Music at the Fabulous Fox. I promise you'll hear about it.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

*The reason post-accident protocol is so old hat is because I have been hit so many times and not because I have caused a lot of accidents. This would be the first. Maybe if people were more environmentally responsible I would be able to see around their cars. Not that that's an excuse.

I must apologize for my tardiness on this blog, patient readers. I know you have anxiously anticipated the reveal of my purpose in life. I'm sincerely sorry for all the sleepless nights you must have had. The wait is over. Here it is: planning tea parties.

How did I stumble across this, my raison d'etre, you ask? For my friend B's birthday, her husband came up with a brilliant plan for our little group of friends to read her favorite book, Persuasion, and then discuss it at a tea party in one of the campus gardens. I know what you are thinking and, yes, he is super sweet. It makes me wish I could marry my gay best friend, too. Here's the thing about boys planning tea parties...they really don't. It shouldn't have surprised me when he called to ask how the girls were planning to decorate. Decorate?! I just committed to cupcakes! My frustration was soon laid to rest, however, when I discovered how wonderful it is to make tea party hats, put together decorations, and basically dream up the girliest party ever. When I realize my dream of becoming an LoL, this is what I will do (when I'm not tending my hydrangeas).

The party was a huge success (even with the rain which only added to the British charm). Even the guys had fun, though I'm sure they won't admit to it. They all participated in the book discussion (I'm pretty sure one or two of them shed a tear reading Capt. Wentworth's letter to Anne), and I have my suspicions that they even appreciated the uber-girly presentation. Bottom line, we all love B a whole lot and I would've planned a zombie party if she wanted it, but I'm really glad this is what we came up with!

Time for children to go back to school. When I was a kid, the idea of year-round school seemed like cruel and unusual punishment conceived in the minds of the most evil of child-hating adults. Now it seems slightly more appealing. As an aspiring LOL, I can appreciate the need to have a few months free to sleep in every day, lounge by the pool, and summer at the seaside; however, I have noticed in recent years that, by the end of July, Summer vacation has evolved into complete and total anarchy.

Camps are over for the summer, so the kid is with me from 9-5 for a couple of weeks. We've almost made it through this week, and we've had a lot of fun. Next week seems do-able, but I definitely have a new appreciation for my mother. Keeping a 7 year old occupied all day, every day is a near herculean task and definitely NOT leaisahly. Not to mention we have the additional challenge of 115 degree heat index. It's WAY too hot to go outside...even to the pool. Here's what we've done:

Gone to the scary Cabbage Patch hospital

Gone to the children's museum

Read for hours and hours

Watched movies

Been to the dentist -- Though I'm not sure why as she currently has no teeth

Hit up the library

Argued about practicing piano

Played by ourselves

My entertainment arsenal still includes a trip to the dairy, homemade playdough, and a few playdates. I think I can handle 6 more days, but what I really want to know is why in the world don't all parents ship their kids off to summer camp as soon school lets out?

Fondest regards,

The (well caffeinated) Lady

PS -- I have stumbled upon my purpose in life, but I cannot share it yet. More posts (and pictures!) to come!!!

CB cooked dinner for me last night. French toast and bacon, which I'm sure were absolutely delicious, but I will never know because here's how the evening went:

Col. Brandon: Why don't you come over to my house and I'll cook dinner?

Me: Aaaawwww, okay.

45 minutes later

Me: Ummmm...my car won't start. Again.

Sweet Col. Brandon, of course, dashed over astride his white horse (well, in his Altima which is much more practical when one's car needs a jump), sword drawn (well, he had jumper cables) and played the part of the dashing hero*. After jumping the car and letting it run, CB treated me to Waffle House, dragged my sorry butt to Wally World for a new battery which we were unsure of as the funny little letters and numbers did not match the one in my car. Upon getting home to jump the car once more, we found it blocked by an unknown neighbor. At this point we just had to laugh and call friends to help us push it out of the parking spot. I'm pretty sure CB could've done it himself had it not been uphill. We jumped it again and drove it straight to the mechanic where I went this morning. Apparently the battery is dead...duh. For the record, we did purchase the correct battery because we are winners like that. It is currently being replaced by a mechanic. In the meantime, I hope CB isn't considering running away in a hurry after finding out about his impoverished girlfriend and her high-maintenance car.

Fondest regards and happy driving,

The Lady

*For the record, every good LOL should own her own jumper cables and know how to use them. She should also be able to check the oil, change a tire and, if necessary, utilize public transportation. I have never actually needed a White Knight to help me with car troubles, but it is certainly nice to have one.

I'm not generally one to complain about the heat. In fact, summer weather is one of my favorite things about the South. Everything just seems to slow down a bit from June to September as folks do what they can to stay cool. I used to have this Romantic idea that pre-air-conditioning southern summers must have been absolutely wonderful. I'm pretty sure the world just stopped and people lived out on the wrap-around porches sipping tea and fanning themselves while waving at the neighbors who were crazy enough to walk down the street. One need only go inside to refill the tea pitcher or take a mid-day bath. It all sounds so delightfully leisahly. Well, it sounded delightfully leisahly until I moved to an apartment without central air. It was so hot this weekend that all I could do was lay on the floor in front of my window unit. Getting dressed is a chore. Forget blow drying my hair. I didn't even have the will to go get my nails done yesterday! Thankfully Col. Brandon (I believe this is how we shall refer to "Boy" on this blog) came over for dinner (at some point I managed to peel myself off the floor to cook) and rescued me from the oppressive heat.

Speaking of Col. Brandon, I've come to the conclusion that dating nice boys will ruin one's life. I have become lazy, lazy, lazy over the past few weeks. Spoiled by meals out, I've almost forgotten what my kitchen looks like. When I do cook, I get flowers. This morning I had to remind myself how to open a car door...that's an exaggeration, but it did occur to me that, in 2 months, I have not opened the door to his car. I have become completely worthless, but I've been loving every minute of it.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Dahling readahs, I just got home from my third beach trip of the summah. My life is so hard. We took the middle school kids on a mission trip to St. Simon's and I have decided, for real this time, that I have to live there. When I close my eyes and imagine the perfect Southern beach town, this island is what comes to mind. Don't mistake me, I love the Outer Banks and plan to continue summering there, but I'm pretty sure St. Simon's is meant to be my home. The whole island is covered in trees draped in Spanish moss, there is an adorable little downtown area, and historical tidbits everywhere you turn. I even have a church already picked out. We worshiped in what may be the prettiest building I've ever been in Sunday morning and there were LOLs everywhere. I think the island may be filled with my kind, folks, and why wouldn't it be? This place is an LOL's paradise (maybe right behind Charleston, except SS is way less crowded).

Here's the challenge, now that I have found the place I am destined to live, I need to find someone to pay for it. Unfortunately, aspiring LOLs with part time youth ministry jobs don't make enough money to live at the seaside. Time to find that nice boy with his JD from a respectable Univahsity...

Fondest regards,

The Lady

The trouble with being a sporadic blogger is that there is so much to update when I have time to post that it's almost too overwhelming to bother. I am back home now (for a few days) and kind of appreciative of a break from the travel. I missed the kid and my friends; however, I do occasionally (i.e. every 2-3 minutes) slip into that fantasy day-dream where I'm on the beach with a book in one hand and a coro...ahem...coca-cola in the other. Much as I love my friends, I'd probably give them up for a leisahly life at the seaside. I do get to go back to the beach this weekend, the catch being that I'll have 40 kids in tow (that includes the 3 "adult" male chaperones)...NOT leishaly.

Getting back to normal life has been pretty good, though. I have had the help of a new friend for whom I am trying to think of a good blog name. Time with said friend has been delightful and I do think I shall continue to spend it with him. The only problem, reader, is one conversation we have had of which I will relay a snippet:

Boy: When I'm retired you'll still be working your butt off at your job.

Me: (nervous laugh/confused look) Ummmmm...ahhhhhh...yeah.

You see the problem. I'm sure it can be easily fixed ;)

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Every good Lady of Leisah should have a house on the beach. Not the kind where you have to worry about tracking sand in or keeping wet towels off the furniture. Worrying is not very leisahly. I mean the kind where the beer stays readily available in a cooler on the porch, the breeze gently, but constantly blows through open windows, and one's feet always get exfoliated by the incidental amount of sand tracked in from the beach.
That said, I have decided to stay here at the beach. Not only do I love it, but I feel like it would be a wise career decision at this juncture. It's possible that I should wait until I find my trophy husband to take care of me (trophy husbands are hard to come by on the island), but I'm scrappy, so I'll find some way to take care of finances and such.
Perhaps I will change my mind come the winter months, but right now, this is perfect.

"Do not take a big trunk full of all the things you don't need." Etiquette. 1922

Ten to one Emily never had to pack for a mission trip on the other side of the world. I'm a home body, but every now and then I'll have a month or so of traveling every weekend. Ususally jet-setting off to chic places like Columbia, Atlanta, or various Christian retreat camps. I've become adept at tossing things into a bag and leaving on a moment's notice. However, I think I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew this summer. Here's the rundown:

Got back from Durham a week ago. Leaving for Columbia Thursday. Back Saturday. Atlanta Sunday to Monday. Manila...yeah, Manila...the following Monday. Get back from Manila with one day to unpack, clean clothes, kiss some babies, repack and head to NC for *hopefully* some R&R.

Are you exhausted? I am. And, to top it off, in true LOL form I have told everyone that my schedule is wide open because I won't be babysitting. Hence, I have volunteered at church, committed to dinners and lunches almost every day next week and told a boy I would cook for him. Why do I do this to me!?! You may want to stop by my apartment at some point to make sure I'm not sitting in a pile of shoes crying helplessly as I look on at a suitcase that won't zip up. Bring...um...chocolate milk* just in case.

Fondest Regards,

The Lady

Coffee free. Day 3. Life sucks a little bit right now as I have had a persistent headache since about 1 pm June 1, not-so-coincidentally the day I decided to begin my month sans coffee. Needless to say, I do not feel very leisahly at the moment. Why would any self-respecting LoL do this to herself?! I figured that with my trip to the Philippines looming, it would probably be wise to kick the addiction and face the withdrawals now as I do not know what the coffee situation will be. Severe headache+24 hours in a plane/bus+30 people I can't escape=headlines. I'm sure sure there will be coffee available, but I figured better safe than sorry, right?

Problem. This was the first week of summer vacation for my 6 year old charge. No headlines yet, but she does keep asking why Miss Daynes is so sleepy and doesn't feel like playing. At what age do kids just pick up a book and spend the whole day reading? Quietly?

On another note (which could possibly be related) I have not been to the gym this week. I thought about going a couple of times. At any rate, it is the thought that counts, so I guess, technically, I've been to the gym a couple of times this week.

I cannot wait until July 2 when, upon return, I will down the first cup of coffee I see. It will in no way help keep me awake I am sure. Until then, I will sleep soundly with the dreams of promised Fresh Market Summer Breeze coffee sipped on the deck of the beach house. Bliss.

It's quite possible that I am the worst blogger ever. I considered just giving up, but then all 3 of you that read this demanded a new post. I'll try to be more faithful. Here goes.

First, I have moved to a real-life, big girl apartment with a bedroom that is separate from the living room. The kitchen is also twice as big as the one in my former studio apartment and features a full size stove and oven plus drip pans for the burners. That's right, folks, no more rigging tinfoil drip pans! Isn't my life glamorous?! There are only three down sides to this apartment over the other: 1) My new upstairs neighbors are very bad insomniac musicians. I miss the awesome bass player who only practiced in the afternoon. 2) I now have way more wall space than I know what to do with. I'm sure American Express will be more than eager to help me out with this dilemma. 3) My bedroom closet is half the size of my old one. No lie, this sent me into a bit of a panic attack at first; however, my friend B- found another closet that had been hiding from me. I now have 2 clothes closets, but I am still unable to fit all of my clothes in. It's possible that I have

too many. All that said, I love my new place and am eager to get all the furniture and decor necessary to make it feel a little homier. The kitchen is finished and is by far my favorite room. It has blue laminate counter tops.

Second, I played a game of muggle quidditch yesterday for my friend J-'s birthday. Of the three girls there, I was the only one without a husband. Of the 12 or so boys there, I'm pretty sure their husbands were the only ones with wives. It may just have been me, but I felt a little bit like it was a meat market and I was the cow. Part of this had to do with the fact that B- is trying to set me up with one of the people that was there. This was particularly awkward as both parties were aware of her intentions; however, we cannot admit knowledge of this plan. I felt a bit like I was auditioning for a date or something. I will, of course keep you updated if anything hilarious comes of this.

Last, I found this at the store. It is wine from Cupcake vineyards. It is also sideways because I am dumb and I don't know how to work a computer. Exciting, nonetheless.

Fondest Regards (with promises of more blog to come),

The Lady

"In olden days...a young girl’s social success was invariably measured by her popularity in a ballroom." Etiquette. "The Debutante." 1922.

It's been well over a year since my last date. This is a phenomenon I haven't really figured out. True, I'm not so great at flirting or sharing my feelings, etc.; however, I am smart, funny, I love sports, and I'm pretty cute. Basically I'm the best catch I know, so it's beyond me that every guy I meet doesn't want to date me. Maybe someone can give me some insight or deflate my ego a bit, but I'm pretty sure my confusion is justified on this one.

Needless to say, I was pretty excited the other night when my neighbor told me he's been wanting to ask me to "coffee or something" for months now. This neighbor looks a little bit like Paul McCartney circa Yellow Submarine and I've kind of been hoping for a while that something like this would happen. so Yay!, right? Wrong. Here's how the whole conversation went:

Me: (watching him load boxes into his car) You're moving?

Paul: Yeah, back to Charleston.

Me: Aww...well...bummer.

Paul: Blah, blah blah...

Me: Meaningless chit-chat

Paul: So this is kinda silly, but I've been wanting to ask you to get coffee or something for months now, but every time I see you I get tongue tied.

Me: Really? Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this for months and now you ask right before you FREAKING MOVE 5 HOURS AWAY?!?!?! Way to go!!!

Okay, so I didn't really say exactly that, but it's definitely what I was thinking. We are talking about 2 grown-ups (do grown-ups say grown-ups?) and a simple cup of coffee. What the heck do you have to lose? Oh, yeah...8 months of getting to know me, THAT'S WHAT! I gave him my number anyway, but something tells me this isn't going to work out. Oh well, he's a cat person anyway.

To cap it off, my friends came to pick me up for dinner as I was giving Paul my number. When I say, "My friends showed up," I am referring to 4 boys donning sunglasses with windows down and early 90's rap blaring. I looked at them and back at Paul. Paul looked at them and back at me. "Well, that's my ride," I said, and I'm pretty sure that was that. Here's to another dateless year, folks! If you need me, I'll be hanging out with my friends who always reassure me that I am, indeed, as great a catch as I believe myself to be.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

"If it is her birthday and other children bring her gifts, she must say Thank You politely." The Kindergarten of Etiquette. 1922.

This aspiring Lady of Leisah celebrates her birthday in less than a week and I've been considering what to treat myself to this year. My car, aptly named "Help-Me-Honda," could sure use two new tires and a maintenance check to go with that new registration sticker she's sporting. I could also get myself a cholesterol check, that'd be a blast! Of course, I will be moving on up to a one bedroom (that's right, a whole seperate bedroom!) apartment in a couple of weeks which means I could treat myself to some swanky new ikea furniture. Now, I know what you're thinking, "What do I get the girl who needs everything?" Fear not! I have a few last minute suggestions for you. This is probably a HUGE Emily faux don't, but I figured I'd help you out a little bit anyway. Here are just a few things that every aspiring LOL ought to have but may not be in the cards for me this year:

A nice cocktail ring. I have been lusting after this particular gem from Tiffany's for a little while now. As you can clearly tell, this is really more of a starter ring (after all, I don't want to be greedy). A real and true, full-fledged LOL cocktail ring obviously features a diamond, emerald, sapphire, etc. and not quartz. This, however, would suit quite nicely for an aspiring LOL who lacks a wealthy husband to purchase it for her.

A charming, quaint little cottage South of Broad. If you would like to throw in the charming 20 something heir who recently obtained is JD at Vanderbilt or any other respectable Southern school, I wouldn't turn it down.

Shoes. Duh.

Of course, I never turn down a good cupcake, book, drink, dinner, or anything else for that matter. It's just not good form. In return for your generous gift giving you will, of course, receive a prompt and warm Thank-You note on adorable stationary. Happy shopping!

Fondest Regards,

The Lady