dysFUNction

I'd like to say that Football came back to me on his knees, with flowers, begging me to take it back this season, but it went more like this:

Football: Hey Baby. (wink) You know you can't live without me.
Me: (perhaps a bit too gleefully) Yes! Yes! I do!!! Wait...I mean...I'll think about it.

There are no promises that I'll get treated right this time around. No assurance that I won't be dressing up for empty promises and throwing money at disappointment. But I do love football. And in the end, Football is right. I will take it back every time...as long as Nick Saban is never. Ever. our coach.

There was one teeny weeny little trade off this time around. I will actually be skipping this weekend's opening game to go see family. Sure I decided to go on the trip because I didn't think I'd have a ticket. Maybe I considered canceling my trip once I was offered one. But I'd like for y'all to ignore that little tidbit and consider that I am growing as a person...a person who won't have a t.v. this weekend. And I'll be fine. Really.

For a moment, during last weekend's hurricane hubub, I thought, "Did God send this as a message to tell me to get my butt to the game next week?" I felt a little like Jonah. Maybe I had been reading a little too much Michelle Bachmann's blog. But whatever it was, I was a little worried. God is a Bulldog, you know, but I don't think hurricanes as punishment is really His style. Not since Noah's day, anyhow.

At any rate, whether the weather was my fault or not, next weekend I will be at the game, fully dressed in my Game Day best, butterflies (and tailgate food) in my stomach, standing outside the gates of Sanford Stadium like a schoolgirl awaiting her first date...again. Ah, fall!

Fondest regards,
The Lady

P.S. I picked up some bacon Palmetto Cheese for the first home tailgate. I tested it, of course, and it. was. good. obvi. Totally worth a trip to South Carolina.

Fatty Friday Lite

Wednesday night I went with the Bible Study kids to a place called Al's #1 Italian Beef. I suppose you can infer from the name that it's not exactly a salad joint. Their signature sandwich is similar to a philly cheesesteak except that they dip the entire thing in au jus before wrapping it up and handing it to you. Eating it felt more like completing some sort of man v. food challenge than just eating dinner. At the end I had a sense of accomplishment and a strong desire to sleep for 3 days. That said, when Thursday evening rolled around, the thought of a hamburger wasn't altogether appealing. Apparently I have a beef threshold. Who knew?

I am, however, a dedicated blogger who has promised her fans a burger review every Friday. This week seemed like a good one, then, to head over to Graze. They have a kind of "build-a-burger" menu featuring a variety of different meats and toppings. We've been a few times and I almost always get the lamb burger with tzatziki (close enough), cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, and tomato and one other burger that I haven't tried before (btw, the patties are only 3 oz., so they're more like sliders). The lamb burger is far and away my favorite which is why I always get.

Last night we chose (from left to right) the grass fed beef with cheddar, lettuce, and tomato; black bean with avocado, sprouts and tomato (mine); fried mozzarella with marinara and pepperoni; and bison with lettuce, tomato, and sauteed onions minus the tomato which was removed and eaten separately at the end (that's right, Sarah)...those were CB's.

I really enjoyed the black bean burger, but did not care for the actual burger which was dry. The problem with itty-bitty patties is that they get overcooked. Also, CB pointed out that the bun to meet ratio was too high. Plus, I forgot to add mayonnaise which was my own dang fault. To be fair, I'm leaving the black bean burger out because it's just pretending to be a burger. Judging the beef one alone, I'm giving it a 3. Definitely my least favorite so far. I would, however, recommend Graze for a number of their other menu options including the lamb burger, the black bean burger, or their salads...also, CB says the fried mozzarella "pizza burger" is delightful.

We're running out of ideas for places to try, so if any current or former Athenians have any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A Ladies' Luncheon

There are two kinds of people, y'all, people who eat lunch and people who do lunch. I prefer the later. And nobody makes doing lunch more delightful than The Swan Coach House. So naturally, when The Girl with Curls and I did lunch the other day, that is where we went. In all of its florally upholstered glory.


I don't think I can adequately describe this place except to say that it. is. southahn. And pink. And fancy. Adn it almost made me feel prepared for my first Junior League meeting. I had the tea sandwiches (chicken salad and pimento cheese. Obvi) with the frozen fruit salad. Why doesn't anyone else make frozen fruit salad? Sarah ordered the quiche which did not come with frozen fruit salad, so I'm sure it was not as good. We both had cheese straws, of course.


Before we left, Sarah asked the valet to take our picture. I was asked to step down a step, but I refused. It's not my fault Sarah is part elf.

Enjoy it, because every picture of us for the rest of the year will be taken at tailgates and football games. It's so close I can taste it. In fact, in decidedly unladylike fashion, I pointed out a young man at lunch clad in orange and I leaned over to Sarah and said, "You know how I know it's almost football season? I have the inexplicable urge to hit that guy in the mouth just for wearing orange." Shame on me. I'm just going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he just wasn't thinking. Maybe he's a yankee.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Fatty Friday -- Double Down edition

No, I didn't actually consume a double down. Not that I wouldn't. I mean, the idea of replacing bun with meat is kind of genius, but KFC has never really appealed to me. However, let's not kid ourselves into thinking that I am above that kind of gluttony.

Case in point, I downed two burgers yesterday. Forgetting that it was Thursday and Thursday is burger night, I had a burger at lunch. I would have skipped the dinner burger, but I know how you all look forward to Fatty Friday, so I manned up and went in for seconds. I'm just that committed to y'all. And now you get to read about both. You're welcome.

For lunch, the co-w@$kers and I went to Farm Cart. It's a mobile grill that sits outside Farm 255 at lunchtime when the weather cooperates. I love it because they serve simple, locally frown fare just like Farm 255, but at a much lower price. For example, the Farm burger is $14, but the Cart burger is only $6.50. Other than being slightly smaller, I can't tell the difference. Yesterday's burger came with the option of sauteed onions and gruyere or pimento cheese, Duh. No contest. And it was delish. A little juicy and difficult to eat whilst sitting on my bosses couch trying to have a staff meeting, but what can you do? As an added bonus, the pimento cheese dripped out onto my homemade potato chips! I'd give it an 8. Easy.

We are trying to figure out the criteria needed for a restaurant to be Burger-Quest worthy, but last night we limited the options to places where we could watch The Braves. They are really good. In the end, we chose Brett's which is a local West-Siiide joint that is mostly student free because it's in one of the less frequented shopping centers. We like it because the food is good and they have a TON of options to choose from, including 8 burger options. CB settled on the Brett's Burger with bacon and jarlsburg on't while I chose the Corpus Christie with barbeque sauce and pineapple chunks. We both got the sweet potater-tots. Obvi.

The burgers were really, really good. Cooked just right and the bun was delicious. My only complaint was that a slice of pineapple would be easier to eat than pineapple chunks. CB said this was his favorite burger so far, giving it a 7.75 (7.5 for the actual burger + .25 bonus for having sweet potater-tots). He probably would have given it higher marks had it not been for the poppy seeds on the bun. I'd agree with his score, solid burger, but not my favorite.

While Brett's may not have won last night, the Braves did. Way to go, Chip! Sorry I called you old.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Fatty Friday (on Saturday) -- Allen's

No Athens burger quest is complete without a trip to Allen's, a Classic City classic which boldly claims to have the best burger in town. Allen's has been around forever and was, apparently, a big tradition "back in the day." The original location closed down a few years ago and people freaked out. You would have thought it was the end of food as we know it the way people flocked to get one last burger. Hello! If it's so good, why weren't you eating there all along? Some people were so upset that they reopened Allen's in a different location and that is where we dined the other night.

There were two burgers to choose from, the 4 oz. Allen's burger and the 8 oz. Billy's burger. Not knowing which one was supposed to be the best in Athens, we each got an Allen's burger and split a Billy's burger.

As we started eating, I was reminded of an episode of Parks and Rec where Ron and Chris have a burger cookoff. Chris makes super healthy, super fancy turkey burgers with fresh ingredients and the judges love them. Then, Ron slaps down plain 50/50 burgers on buns and wins the contest. I tried to find a clip for y'all, but I couldn't. Sorry.

Anyway, Allen's went with the less is more approach and it works. The only complaint I had was that the smaller burger was dry. Otherwise, CB and I agreed that the food was pretty delicious. In fact, CB said it was his favorite burger so far. I am still partial to The Royal Peasant, but was pleasantly surprised at how good Allen's was. I'd give it a 7. What, exactly, does that mean. I don't know.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A Fancy Birthday

The Little Lady's birthday is coming up and she has settled on an American Girl themed fete to celebrate. Combine this with the fact that it's the last week of summer and we need activities to fill the hours and you get a surprise pre-birthday trip to Alpharetta for lunch at the American Girl store. Very fancy.

Rebecca, The Little Lady, and I enjoyed a fabulous meal complete with very pink decor, very pink flowers, and the very pinkest lemonade I have ever seen. I can't help quoting Max Detweiler when I see pink lemonade.

Anyhoo, we had a blast and the staff even popped a candle in some whipped cream and sang "Happy Birthday" to The Little Lady as they brought out her fancy brownie lollipop dessert. She pretended to be embarrassed, but who does she think she's kidding?

It was about the 5th time we heard them sing "Happy Birthday" over the course of lunch, but it was no less special. Best of all, The Little Lady (and Rebecca) had a blast!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

Fatty Friday -- The Royal Peasant

Yesterday was just one of those days, y'all, and NOT in a good, leisahly way. The Little Lady had an afternoon engagement, so I thought, "Hey, this is a good opportunity for me to catch up at my other job." So, I got up, had my morning coffee, and headed to the office...around 10ish (hey, that's the beauty of a part-time job). I was so productive yesterday it was scary. E-mails, planning, cleaning, meeting, moving furniture...I made it happen. Then I left work at what I thought was 4ish, but first I went upstairs to say bye to a friend. She wasn't in her office. In fact, nobody was in his or her office. It was almost 6.

Then I realized how hungry I was. That coffee for breakfast? That was my only meal of the day. No wonder I got a little grumpy and snappy toward the end, there.

That said, proximity was the primary factor in deciding where to go next on our burger quest. The Royal Peasant is an English pub style place 2 blocks away from my...we'll say "flat" since we're being all British and stuff...and it also happens to have really great food. We don't eat there much in the summer because who thinks, "Man, bangers and mash would really hit the spot!" when the heat index is 113?

Anyway, the burger is really good there and it totally hit the spot. They keep it simple with cheddar cheese, applewood-smoked bacon!, bibb lettuce, and tomato. The ingredients are quality and they cooked it to a perfect medium-rare which, for the record, is how I'm ordering all these burgers. It was a little greasy juicy, but that's a plus in my book.

Here's the rub: I was so hungry that I downed the burger in about 13 seconds. I know, I know, that's pretty hot. CB is a lucky fella. I would give it a 9, but I'm pretty sure I'd'a given McDonald's a 9 last night. To be honest, I'm not even sure I tasted it. Also, I'm not sure what CB thought of it. I didn't ask. I didn't care. I just ate. And then I felt sick.

The Royal Peasant burger and I do not have a good history with The Colonel. The first time I had one was our 2nd date. He ordered the fish and chips which can be neatly consumed with a fork and knife. As I'm mid burger-scarf with cow juice dripping down my forearm, he's telling me how he and his friend don't eat beef unless it's grass-fed (the bet has since been cancelled, obvi):

CB: blah, blah, ethical treatment of animals, blah...

Me: (mid bite) Oh, great, and I wasn't already feeling bad enough for ordering decidedly unattractive, un-girly, un-date food.

CB: No, no, it's totally cute that you ordered a burger. I like it.

Me: (probably wiping ketchup off my face with the back of my hand) Aw, thanks.

It's really sweet what people will lie about when they start dating.

Not one of my finer moments and I'm still not sure why he called me after that date (if you've ever seen me eat a burger, you know).

Anyway, last night's burger was just as good as the first. The date was decidedly more relaxed and I used my napkin the whole time. Also, I still totally love The Royal Peasant. It's charming despite all the soccer football soccer ...whatever they play on TV. So far, I think this burger tops the list...and that's not just the hunger talking.

Fondest regards,
The Lady