Outgifted...

I hope y'all had a wonderful Christmas! I spent mine in Columbia, South Carolahna with the parents, siblings, my cousin, and quite a few dogs. It was a ton of fun and it's always a treat to have The Lady's Mother cook for a few days. Yum!!! I even enjoyed the soysage. Seriously. Plus, I scored tons of sweet gifts like a camera, a sweater, mom found these really neat pictures of The Daynes Building (yeah, there's a building), some CDs, jewelry, and...AN OYSTER SHUCKER!!!

Unfortunately, due to the first white Christmas The Classic City has seen in over 120 years, I had to scoot a bit early to beat the snow home. Y'all know Southahn Ladies do not drive in snow. The deal was sweetened a bit, however, since CB had actually left his parents on Christmas Eve (naughty son!), so we got to exchange presents. I put together a stocking full of random things he likes in addition to his big gift which was a Scott Parker replica Westham United FC jersey. What the heck is that? It's not important. Suffice it to say that it's really cool and thoughtful because I'm the best girlfriend ever...at least that's what I thought. When I got to his house, I was presented with this:

An instruction book on how to open my gift. First was a pair of sparkly red shoes. And no, they were not in my size. He did, however, subject himself to receiving the American Girl catalogue until the end of time in order to get them.

Next up was a "straw"basket filled with chocolate. 

Then it got a little weird. The next gift was a splatter guard. I think he and my mom were in cahoots to see who could get me the most random kitchen item. Mom won. The hint that I didn't get: This is supposed to be made of "tin."

Next up was a pair of hand knit Gryffindor socks!!! We could've stopped here and I'd have been a happy camper. I love knit socks. Cousisns, if you read this and you don't wear the knit socks Grandma sends...I WILL!!! P.S. The symbol for Gryffindor is a lion...

If' you've guessed it by now, you're a lot smarter than I (calm down, it's not that big of an accomplishment). I didn't really try to guess, though. I turned the page and found...

Two tickets to see WICKED!!! He told me I could take whomever I like, so favors and bribes will be accepted until March 1; however, I must warn you that CB is the front-runner at the moment despite the fact that he totally and completely outgifted me.

Overall, it was a pretty amazing Christmas...and not just because of the loot. It's so nice to be able to take a break and see family, spend some time celebrating with friends, eat Candy Cane Joe Joe's, and most of all, to remember the birth of Christ which is the best gift of all and why we celebrate in the first place!

Fondest regards,

The Thankful Lady

P.S. Thank you cards are in the mail. Obvi.

When you just don't know what to say...

Only two days left to Christmas, dear friends, and I thought it might be time to remind you that a Lady of Leisure never balks at the hand crocheted vest from grandma or the set of cat mugs from her aunt that you could swear you saw at last year's family gift swap. No, she is able to graciously accept all gifts good or bad. Here are some pointers:

1. You know the gifts that are likely to be less than stellar. Be prepared.

2. Keep a smile on your face NO MATTER WHAT!

3. Avoid umm...eggnog when opening gifts. It makes you a little more prone to honesty.

4. Try to remember how much thought, time, energy went into making, preparing, purchasing your gift. It really is the thought that counts.

5. When all else fails, go in for a long hug. This will make it more difficult to see your face and the giver will just assume you were too touched for words.

Here's a little more help from a couple of people funnier than I:

I hope you all get just what you want this year!

Fondest regards,

The Lady

The Lady and the Little Lady

The Kid is out of school for the holidays which means we get to think of creative ways to entertain ourselves from 9-5. I had a lock-in Sunday night, so Monday I was pretty much out of commission. Thankfully, her school had a "Parents' (or sitters'!!!) morning out"deal, so I was able to get 3 hours of sleep before hanging out with her. For the afternoon it was kind of an "I'm here, but I'm not really here" situation. I got a lot of, "Miss Daaaaynes, why are you so tired?" I managed to stay "awake" for the afternoon, but I felt like I needed to make up for it today with a super fun activity...

ICE SKATING!!! We headed into Atlanta to skate at Centennial Park. We listened to the Mary Poppins soundtrack on the way in and she asked if we were in Atlanta yet between every song. Once we got to the rink though, the complaints were silenced. For a kid who'd never put on skates before, she was a champ! She fell a few times, but she'd get back up, dust herself off, and skate on. After that was a trip to The Varsity where we stuffed ourselves (in the most lady-like fashion, of course) with a chili dog and a half each plus onion rings, and then home, but not before some hot chocolate...

Notice that pinky? Also, she talked for most of the trip about how much she wanted to live in Atlanta because they have a skating rink and The Fox Theater. I think we may have a future LoL on our hands. It was a pretty great day overall, but I think we wore each other out. I saw her and her aunt leaving the basketball game (which the Dawgs dominated!) at the half because she needed to go to bed. Me too. Chuck-E-Cheese tomorrow and then we'll have Christmas presents to play with!!! Apparently she asked Santa for a dragon and a fairy, so those should keep us pretty busy for the rest of the break. Anyone know if dragons can be housebroken?

Fondest regards,

The Lady

P.S. I asked CB if I could give him my present tomorrow (the lady-like way to ask if I'm getting a present tomorrow) because it's our last chance to hang out before Christmas. I got a maybe. And not a teasing sort of maybe, an actual maybe. Apparently part of my gift is still at the post office! I offered to go pick it up for him, but I took his laughter as a "no, thank you." I suppose it'll be something to look forward to after Christmas. He told me he wouldn't open his gift until he had mine, but I may force it upon him anyway. I'm pretty excited about it.

There is a reason that Ladies of Leisah pay other people to do things for them. A couple of weeks ago I cancelled my Charter service because I was tired of paying $60/month to the spawn on satan. I called up AT&T and they seemed nice enough and promised that my bill wouldn't go up in six months and that I wouldn't be required to get cable. What a deal! Then they offered me all the extra stuff like a modem and a tech to come set everything up. "No, no," said I, "I can do all that myself!" Silly girl. I forgot that I actually repel technology. Literally. Like Pauly D's hair repels water.

After 2 hours on the phone with a very patient AT&T tech supporter, I am finally back online in my apartment. I feel like I should send the tech a Christmas present or something. Next time I probably ought to just do the leishaly thing and fork over the set-up fee. So much for going in to work today! The Kid's getting out early, so I need to go hit the carpool line. I should probably go ahead and armor my car for the SUV zoo I am about to encounter.

Fondest regards,
The Lady

Santa baby...

Once again, I am sorry for my blogging negligence. If anyone still reads this from time to time, I have been without the interwebs in my apartment for a couple of weeks. It will be remedied soon (I hope) and I will go back to not posting due to laziness.
In his sermon a couple of weeks ago, my pastor said, "When you're a kid, Christmas only comes once every ten years. When you're an adult, it starts to come about every four months." It's statements like these that make me feel really old. It's true, though. Christmas is here again and I feel like we just wrapped up last year. Not that I'm complaining. Really, I couldn't wait to get my tree up and wrap presents and what not. It's now less than 2 weeks to Christmas and I'm starting to feel like a little kid trying to wait. My decorations are up, the shopping's done, and everything's wrapped. I even have my Christmas dress for the year. It's a little sad because I feel like all of the fun is in the preparation. Seriously, I've thought about just going out and buying more presents so that I have more to wrap. There's one more present that hasn't arrived yet and I walk up to my door expectantly every afternoon, hoping that the mail carrier has left one more thing for me to wrap. Maybe I should get another job or something.
As excited as I get about giving gifts, getting them is a little more difficult for me. Not because people don't love me...please, that joke was too easy if you were thinking it. No, I'm fabulous and there are plenty of people asking what to get me. The trouble is, I just don't ever know what I want. So here it is, The Lady of Leisure's must haves: Christmas Edition...

1. Red and green? Please! The real color of the season is Tiffany blue. This little bauble would look so good on my finger. Way better than the one that British Tart has. She's not really a tart, but I am a little jealous of her ring. To clarify, (just in case anyone passes this list on) mine would be for cocktail parties and not lifelong commitments.

2. A vacation home. Coincidentally, the largest ocean-front on St. Simon's is on sale right now! I couldn't copy the picture, but call Klickie Aiken (isn't that the best realtor name EVER?!) and I'm sure she'd be happy to show you. BTW, if you do decide to get me this for Christmas, I will happily let you and yours vacation there for free.

3. A new car. This cute little V8 vantage roadster by Aston Martin will do just fine. I promise I won't drive it on the beach, though.

4. A mink coat. Yes, I live in Georgia. No, I probably won't wear it more than twice a year. However, you show me a Lady of Leisah and I will show you a woman with a fabulous fur coat. Plus, it has been really cold lately.

5. Party shoes. What should I wear to my holiday party? Who cares if these are on my feet?! Okay, I didn't mean that. Of course I would still wear something fabulous.

I don't want to seem greedy, so I'll end the list there. If you still need ideas, I am sure the holiday catalogue at Neiman Marcus will have some good ones.

Fondest regards and happy shopping,

The Lady