"...if it is warm, they swim in the pool..." ~Etiquette. 1922

Apologies for being such a negligent blogger. I kept wanting to post about the funny things happening in my life, but I simply could not find a way to do it without offending. For instance, my mother keeping me up until 1 a.m. before she revealed that she was not in the ER with a broken pelvis. It was, in fact, a twisted ankle. It was a funny post, but I love my mommy and she's one of the three people that read this. It was a good post. Call me some time and I'll tell you the story with my added flair. Hope you're feeling better, Mom!!!

Instead of offending people with my insensitivity, (which Emily would poo-poo) I shall regale you with tales of my oh-so-Southern weekend. It was delightful and much needed after my worst day ever at work. I used to take people's homes for a living, but Friday morning I was asked to do the most inhumane, cruel task ever...prepare for a church breakfast. This meant hours and hours of cooking pound after pound of bacon. Did I get to eat any? NO!!! Needless to say, I had to consider quitting because who can be expected to work under these conditions?! After such a stressful day, it was necessary to allow my married friends and C- to kidnap me to some barbeque at the Butt-Hutt and a night of line dancing at the local honky-tonk. I think my friends were surprised at how much I enjoyed it. CB's reaction, "It was so much trashier than I thought it would be." My reaction, "Really, I expected it to be way more redneck than that." Folks, there were a mere 3 NASCAR models hanging from the ceiling. I expected twice that.

Saturday, after dragging...dragging myself out of bed and going to church breakfast at 6:30, I went home and took a luxurious 3 hour nap/sleep in since I never really woke up. Quick wardrobe change and shift from bed to pool and I slept for a few more hours. Sooo leisurely. I love warm weather and living in Georgia! It's a good thing I got so much rest because my friend A- and I then hit up Jot-em-Down for some more BBQ (remember, I cooked a ton of bacon I was not allowed to eat. Besides, you really can't have too much que!). Then we went to the rodeo. I LOVE THE RODEO! There are horses, country music, and cowboys everywhere. It was a blast, but again, I think I shocked my friends with my penchant for not-so-ladylike things. Apparently I do a pretty good job of making people believe I'm classier than I really am. Don't tell Emily!

I made up for my redneckery on Sunday with what I'm certain would be an Emily approved Southahn Lady of Leisah day. The United Methodist Women had their annual luncheon where the guest speaker lectured on flowers of the Bible. Seventh Heaven for yours truly! I also got to meet and schmooze with some of the Church Ladies. They intimidate me a little bit, but I stepped up and I'm pretty sure they like me. Maybe I'll get invited to join a garden club...in my dreams. Afterwards, I went to get my nails done. At the honky-tonk, C- pointed out that my nails always look impeccable, so I was feeling a little self-conscious and had to get them filled in and painted in a new springy lavender. This was followed by a few more hours at the pool. When I am an official LOL, I will have a pool!

Funny story of the day: I spoke to some of the UMWs about our upcoming mission trip. They are real life LOLs, so I was totally intimidated, but I charmed the pantsuits off of 'em. When it was done, one of them was telling me how excited she was for us as she was giving me a hug. The thing is, she was so short that instead of patting my back, she was patting my butt. It was so awkward, but I kept a smile on my face that would've made Miss Post proud!