"In olden days...a young girl’s social success was invariably measured by her popularity in a ballroom." Etiquette. "The Debutante." 1922.

It's been well over a year since my last date. This is a phenomenon I haven't really figured out. True, I'm not so great at flirting or sharing my feelings, etc.; however, I am smart, funny, I love sports, and I'm pretty cute. Basically I'm the best catch I know, so it's beyond me that every guy I meet doesn't want to date me. Maybe someone can give me some insight or deflate my ego a bit, but I'm pretty sure my confusion is justified on this one.

Needless to say, I was pretty excited the other night when my neighbor told me he's been wanting to ask me to "coffee or something" for months now. This neighbor looks a little bit like Paul McCartney circa Yellow Submarine and I've kind of been hoping for a while that something like this would happen. so Yay!, right? Wrong. Here's how the whole conversation went:

Me: (watching him load boxes into his car) You're moving?

Paul: Yeah, back to Charleston.

Me: Aww...well...bummer.

Paul: Blah, blah blah...

Me: Meaningless chit-chat

Paul: So this is kinda silly, but I've been wanting to ask you to get coffee or something for months now, but every time I see you I get tongue tied.

Me: Really? Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this for months and now you ask right before you FREAKING MOVE 5 HOURS AWAY?!?!?! Way to go!!!

Okay, so I didn't really say exactly that, but it's definitely what I was thinking. We are talking about 2 grown-ups (do grown-ups say grown-ups?) and a simple cup of coffee. What the heck do you have to lose? Oh, yeah...8 months of getting to know me, THAT'S WHAT! I gave him my number anyway, but something tells me this isn't going to work out. Oh well, he's a cat person anyway.

To cap it off, my friends came to pick me up for dinner as I was giving Paul my number. When I say, "My friends showed up," I am referring to 4 boys donning sunglasses with windows down and early 90's rap blaring. I looked at them and back at Paul. Paul looked at them and back at me. "Well, that's my ride," I said, and I'm pretty sure that was that. Here's to another dateless year, folks! If you need me, I'll be hanging out with my friends who always reassure me that I am, indeed, as great a catch as I believe myself to be.

Fondest regards,

The Lady