The American Dream

Blogging. Even the name sounds completely dorky, so why the heck am I doing this? I'm totally that kid who makes fun of people for starting blogs. I mean, does anybody really care about your clueless but well-intentioned husband's forays in the kitchen or your adorable prodigy of a child learning to pick his nose? Unless you married Ray Romano, probs no. So as not to offend everyone, people do occasionally start blogs for legit reasons (i.e. moving to an exotic land or sharing the adventure of a NYR...you know who you are). Admittedly, I should be placed in the former group and you should probably stop reading now.

However, every aspiring Lady of Leisure needs a plan to reach her goal. I'm assuming this blog will attract millions of followers, pique the attention of a big time publisher, and ultimately result in a New York Times best-seller that will earn yours truly enough cash to retire to a quaint little antebellum plantation house (complete with jasmine covered wraparound porch) where I can grow hydrangeas in peace. Modest dreams, I know. In the meantime, I hope my life of adventure and glam will provide you with a few laughs. It certainly makes me laugh all the time. Here are my only disclaimers:

1. Any similarities between you and the characters in this blog are purely intentional. If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? However, I will not reveal identities.

2. Occasionally, I have been known to say what I think without regard for others. I have a special talent for putting my foot in my mouth. I love, love, love my family, friends, and all the precious little dears I work with every day and would never intentionally hurt anyone. If your feelings get hurt, please tell me an we'll fix it. On the other hand, if your feelings get hurt easily, I'm not sure how we're still friends...

3. You probably won't agree with everything I say. I don't really care. 90% of what I say shouldn't be taken seriously anyhow.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, happy reading. Or ignoring. I don't really care.

Fondest regards,

The Lady