This weekend CB and I went kayaking. I like to think that I'm just the right amount of outdoorsy. I know that I don't seem like it what with my completely rational deathly fear of things that fly coupled with my idea that "roughing it" means the hotel only has 3 stars, but ignore that for a moment because none of it applies when there is water involved. I heart water and I think I could be perfectly happy spending every day kayaking on the river...as long as I got to shower and eat a good meal and sleep in a real bed at the end of the day. Also, I'm really good at kayaking...as long as there aren't too many shoals and trees and other things to avoid. Also, apparently CB and I look the part:

Kayak guy: Have you ever been on this river before?
CB: Yes
Me: Well, yeah, but not this stretch.
Kayak guy: Yeah? Where do you normally go?
yada, yada, yada...me telling him...
Kayak guy: Really? Do y'all normally take your own equipment?
Me: Well, yeah...

Which is totally sort of true. I didn't feel the need to tell him that "our own equipment" is normally wal-mart inner tubes and a floating cooler (for the, you know, cokes) or that "on the river" meant I'd done a couple of tubing trips. I didn't want to embarrass him because tubing is way more hard core than kayaking.

Aaaanyway, the whole point of this tale is that I found a kayaking place that completely caters to The Lady of Leisure. First, you check in in a lovely pavilion complete with tables, couches, chairs, and coordinating toss pillows. Not your average outpost. Then, they drive you to the drop-in point and not in one of those old school buses with the vinyl seats and no AC. No, Ma'am. You are squired to the river in no less than a stretch excursion complete with twinkly lights in the ceiling. Magical. It made me wish I'd remembered to put mascara on. CB apologized for not getting me a corsage. I said, "It's okay. I should've got you a boat-onniere." And then we both died laughing...well...I laughed and he smiled politely.

Okay, okay.

Then we got in the river which trip was supposed to take 3 hours, but we knocked it out in a little over 1.5 because, as I said, we are awesome kayakers. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't a longer trip, but CB (ever the optimist) pointed out that it could be worse, "Remember the last time someone went on a 3 hour tour?" Touche.

The best part (after the limo, obvi) is that you get out at the lovely pavilion where you parked your car instead of having to ride a smelly, hot bus back to the outpost. Plus, if you prepare better than we did, you can have food waiting for you when you arrive. All outdoor activities should be this posh. I think any semblance I had of being outdoorsy just flew right out the window with that last sentence.

Fondest regards,
The Lady