Lately, Saturdays have been a little rough. Football season is always a bust time of year and occasionally it can feel a bit stressful getting to tailgates and kickoffs each week and pick out a new outfit to wear to each game. Even when the Dawgs are winning this can be a bit stressful; however, lately they have been losing. Bad. And Saturdays have become less and less leisahly and more and more like w@$k. I hate to use such strong language because I almost always have some fun, but losing means more noon games which means waking up earlier. It also means the game ending earlier and me having to spend the entire afternoon being pissy instead of just sulking home and going to bed. Basically, I've needed a nice leisahly Saturday and that is just what I got today.

After sleeping in (it's what you do when the cast of Jersey Shore is arguing outside your window at 4 am), I spent a leisahly morning drinking coffee and didn't head to the tailgate until 10ish (this may seem like a reasonable time, but keep in mind that I was 2 hours late...as usual). My bosom friend, S- (who wants a blog name),* took me to the game this week. I have to admit that my excitement about going to the games each week has been waning with every defeat. Loss after loss tends to make one a little pessimistic. However, friends, we won the game soundly and, as an added bonus, I couldn't even hear "Rocky Top" over all the cheering.

Post-game we headed back for some more tailgating. I forgot how lovely my friends are because we've been in such bad moods the last few weeks, but I very much enjoyed their company today. Plus, there was, as always, lot's of good food.

After an afternoon of lounging and catching up on missed television, a date with CB capped off the night. Fried chicken at Zaxby's, movie at the dollar theater (all my idea)...he says I'm a simple girl, but I prefer "low-maintenance." We'll let him think that for a little while longer...

All in all it was a lovely Saturday. Quite leisahly and much needed after a string of disappointing ones. Now, if the Braves can pull off a win tomorrow, this might just go down in history as a perfect weekend!

Fondest regards and keep choppin',

The Lady

*S-, I think, in keeping with naming people for literary characters, your blog name will be Leslie Ford. She and Anne are bosom friends and I like her better than Diana. Plus, she belongs to the race of Joseph.

There is not enough downtown space to waste on poor restaurants.

Gentle Readers,

If you are going to open up a bahbeque restaurant in the south and be so presumptuous as to give it a Southern name like "The Cotton Club," you better be ready to back it up with some dang good que. The basic rules for said good que are as follows:

1. The pork must be cooked on-site. It shouldn't have to be said, but there you go.

2. The cooked-on-site pork should be able to stand alone as excellent que. I will almost certainly put sauce on it, but it should be because I want to not because I have to.

3. A good meat to bun ratio is key and one should always err on the side of too much meat.

I am always up for trying a new restaurant in my beloved Classic City, especially when it offers good Southahn Fare. Unfortunately, despite a promising name, menu, and location, The Cotton Club disappointed. There was no smoked pork essence wafting in the air (which may account for the lack of flavor in the barbeque), I'm pretty sure the sauce was some oily variation of ketchup, and the taste of said sauce and pork didn't actually matter because all I really got was mouthful after mouthful of bun. Honestly, I was so distracted with wondering what Yankee opened this affront to Southern cuisine that I forgot to order Tea!!!

On the bright side, Col. Brandon is taking me to the North Georgia State Fair tonight where I am certain to find some piece of deep fried glory to put my taste buds back in a Southahn State of mind! More on that latah...

Fondest Regards,

The Lady

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Life has just been pretty dull of late. Not in a bad way, I just don't have entertaining stories to tell. My friend K- posted about her family adventure in trying to open a coconut. S- could tell you about adventures in sewing with rick-rack. I have been sitting at home re-watching both seasons of _Sports Night_, the greatest show on television. I am not about to talk football right now. I suppose I can tell you about my attempt to give blood the other day...

I have O-, so the Red Cross calls me a lot and I am pretty passionate about the importance of donating. So, my friend B- and I went to a blood drive the other day pretty pumped about giving. Get it? Pumped?...Aaaanyway, B- got through the Q&A session, gave her blood and was sitting at the cookie table before they had even figured out that I'm not eligible to give for 12 months because I might have malaria from being in the Philippines. Sweet. They, of course, figured this out after pricking TWO fingers to get a good hemocrit result. Lesson learned. From now on I will discuss my jet-setting right off the bat. Soooo...since I can't give blood, I figured I'd give you the reasons you should:

10. The Red Cross people are really nice and sometimes they'll flirt with you a little. Especially if you are O-. They really think O-s are hot.

9. You always wanted a way to lose weight will sitting on your butt.

8. Neon is so hot right now which means the bandage (which you may be able to color coordinate to your outfit) is this season's must-have accessory.

7. Said bandage will get you attention for the rest of the day. "What's that bandage for?" "Oh, nothing. I just gave blood." "Wow. You are cool.".

6. Vampires. I have to believe that the most likely place for me to meet a Cullen is a blood drive.

5. Free cookies and fruit punch. 'Nuf said.

4. It gives you a good excuse to feel faint and swoon a bit. Swooning seems like a very leisahly thing to do.

3. You are instructed to eat well for the rest of the day. As if I needed to be told to eat well, but sometimes it's nice to have an excuse to pig out. Plus you've lost all that weight, so you're good.

2. You're also instructed to take it easy and not do too much physical activity for the rest of the day. Again, like I need a reason to skip the gym, but I'll take it.

1. You can save 3 lives.

I'm pretty bummed that I won't be able to give until next summer, but I hope some of you readers will step up in my absence. Giving blood is cool.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

A girl can dream...

Today The Kid said, "When I get married my husband's going to bring me presents and I'm going to dress like a princess every day." Maybe we've been spending too much time around each other...

Fondest regards,

The Lady

God is a Bulldog. ~Lewis Grizzard

It's upon us folks. We've counted down the days, spent sleepless nights researching and planning, and we've purchased the outfits. That's right. It all comes down to this...

FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

If summer insists upon turning into fall and ushering us into the season of death, decay, and basketball that is winter, there's really only one way to do it and that is by filling every Saturday with NCAA football. Nay, SEC football. There are people out there (even among the few readers of this blog but I don't want to single out said aunt and sister) that have, shall we say, less than stellar taste in regards to which team to root for and which colors to wear*; however, I think we can all agree that the SEC knows how football is done. Why? Glad you asked:

1. It's in The South. That means tailgates run by Ladies of Leisure. None of the "let's just grill a brat" crap you find up north. No, we are talking about 12 hours of noshing on enough food to feed a small country while we sit around watching football.

2. The clothes. No t-shirts and jeans here (well, except the cut-off ones in Florida, but we're not counting those). Red and Black ensembles and accessories for the ladies. Seersucker and bowties for the men who aren't in Silver Britches. Everyone dressed to the nines and nobody wearing the same thing twice.

3. The football. It's just better.

It may well be a rough season (goodness knows it's no fun losing to the evil genius), but even if we lose every game, I will wake up every Saturday morning to the sound of "Glory, Glory" blaring from someone's tailgate and pray the prayer that Lewis Grizzard taught us to pray saying, "Thank you Lord for three things: Fried chicken, potato salad, and the privilege of being a Bulldog, and, Dear Lord, bless all those not as fortunate as I."**

Fondest regards,

The Lady

*Before my first football game, a true Lady of Leisure approached me and said, "Sugah, Southahn ladies do not weyah ahrange or gold," and I've kept those wise words close to my heart ever since.

**http://theantiorangepage.com/pages/20

If you give a mouse a cookie...she'll probably ask for your credit card...

I have a new addiction, friends. It's bedding. And I have come to the conclusion that heroin would be cheaper. After growing tired of the 3 year old $30 Target bedspread, I decided to go shopping for a more grown-up look, something not from the college dorm collection, if you will. Upon looking around, I remembered why I went with dorm-room chic in the first place...cheapness. I bit the bullet, however, and went with a lovely light grey duvet. Said bullet, by the way, is much easier to bite with my friend B- telling me, "Go for it. It's an investment." Her husband J- would probably say that it serves me right for all the times I've uttered the words, "Oh, you'll definitely wear that."

With the bedspread purchased, enter problem two. When you get grey bedding, you need something to liven it up. Obviously you have to go get decorative pillows, duh. Purple velvet ones (side note/question: how much purple velvet is too much purple velvet?). I have decided that I need to learn how to sew so that I can make shams. Someone is making a killing off of the Euro sham trend.

Needless to say, my bed looks amazing at the moment. Would you expect anything less? Every Lady of Leisure needs a fabulously luxurious place to rest at night...and for her afternoon nap. Besides, C- is coming this weekend which means the guest bed has to be in top form. My bank account will recover. If not, I suppose I could always rent my room out for football weekends!

Sweet dreams,

The Lady

You know those days that suck so much that all you can do is laugh about it? Yeah, and it's only 1:30.

7:30 -- Wake up pumped and ready for a great day. Start shower and wait for the water to get warm.

7:35 -- Wonder why the water still isn't warm. Jump in the shower anyway. Not cool...well cool, but not...you know what I mean.

7:45 -- Put on adorable outfit and threaten Monday via Facebook. Still maintaining awesome, pumped up attitude.

Blah, blah, blah productive morning at work despite cold shower. Feeling bad for my friend C- who's car broke down. Sucks to be her.

11:00 -- Head out to my new UMW Circle Bible Study with a smile on my face. Ready to make new friends!

11:05 -- Back into someone driving through the church parking lot. He says we don't need to call the police, but I did anyway. Insurance. Apologies. It's all pretty familiar to me at this point.* There's no damage to Help-Me-Honda and a little damage to his car.

11:30 -- Call C- and we share stories. Decide C- has it worse.

11:45 -- Arrive fashionably late to UMW meeting. Hug lots of people. Eat Marti's pimento cheese which makes everything better.

Blah, blah, blah. Still super excited about the new Bible Study. Probably will write more about that on a better day. Let me leave you with this regarding my new friends, the woman who hosted it has a copy of Etiquette. I think we're soul mates.

1:00 -- Leave UMW feeling really good. Give sympathetic smile to new friend who needs her car jumped. I know, honey, I've been there. Look down at aforementioned adorable outfit and realize I have forgotten an important element. Not to give too much information, but I think I may know why the guy I hit was so nice and didn't mind if we left the police out of it. Also, all those hugs I gave my new friends are flashing back in my mind. Who the heck forgets that article of clothing?!?!?! Earrings, maybe, zip up fly, sure but not that.

1:10 -- Call C- again who also wonders how I could forget such a thing. Decide we need umm...chocolate milk tonight. Lots and lots of umm...chocolate milk.

1:25 -- Open freezer and realize magic ice cream dispenser still has not appeared.

1:27 -- Finish getting dressed and call coworker to make sure the lack of support wasn't too noticeable (it wasn't. Thanks mom genes!).

It's 1:40 now, so I still have a whole afternoon and evening ahead of me. My spirits (along with everything else!) have been lifted, and I will conquer this day yet! Tomorrow, the girls and I go to The Sound of Music at the Fabulous Fox. I promise you'll hear about it.

Fondest regards,

The Lady

*The reason post-accident protocol is so old hat is because I have been hit so many times and not because I have caused a lot of accidents. This would be the first. Maybe if people were more environmentally responsible I would be able to see around their cars. Not that that's an excuse.